IllogiZoo:Seven hell-eating banana fish

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Seven hell-eating banana fish
Hell banana.jpg
Conservation Status
Kingdom Animalia
Phylum Chordata
Class Avianagoo
Order Beverage
Family Pisces
Genus Hydro-banana
Species H. Banana
Weight 0.1 - 17 kg. (avg)
Length 0.2 - 3.8meters
Binomial Name
Hell Banana

The Super Awesome Dead Hydraulic Shed Driving KFC Eating Amazing Halo 3 Playing Cheryl Cole Fan-club Members Who Live Underwater And Are Fish, Also There Are Seven Of Them Because Three's Company But Seven Is A Magic Number That Makes Strawberries Fall From The Sky If You Agree To Buy Drugs From It, shortened to the 7 Hell-eating banana fish are a group of epic awesome fish. Obviously.

And one of them is a ninja. They worship sharks, because sharks make bananas look as puny as communist chickens, which is kind of awesome because communist chickens are amazing and bananas are also amazing, but sharks make them both look as puny as communist bananas. But yeah. By the way, just so you know, all of those things look puny compared to my house, which has 63 bedrooms and 121 bathrooms and is currently on fire.


What the hell did I just write? I need more coffee. Hey, Timmy, get me some coffee will ya? No? Douche. I'll go get it myself. Without your help, Timmy. I'm divorcing you tomorrow. You're mean, and mean people like to eat fossils on their toast instead of blood like most people do. And I can't have you doing that, because fossils betray me and steal all my money then escape through the windows I leave open on purpose so people will rob me and I can claim benefit. I know that I actually lose money that way, I just like the look of confusion on the insurance guy's face when I tell him that I leave my windows on purpose. My house is still on fire... I should put that out at some point.

Not now though. I'm trying to write here. And you're distracting me! Leave me alone, crazy person! Gravity is eating me! Oh no! I don't like gravity. It stopped my Epic Rocket Shoes from working. I need to work on those. Oh damn, my house burned down. I hope you're happy... I'm expecting my phone to ring at some point. And I pick it up, and a fish will start talking to me over the phone. And he's in Iraq. Trying to convert me to Scientology, but he's calling from a different country so I can't find him and kill him.

You're still reading this? Wow, what an ass hole. Even my imaginary friend only managed one paragraph, before he robbed me and stabbed me in the chest 18 times with an imaginary knife and then escaped in his imaginary spaceship. Which kinda sucks. Not as much as having my house burned down after failing to put out a fire being too distracted by telling some random person about my plan to claim insurance and confuse annoying smug insurance people, or being converted to Scientology by an insecure Iraqi fish over the phone. Those things really suck. Like you. Ha! Owned.

You know, I should keep writing this. The article should end here, but no. I'm not going to conform with your silly rules. I don't do that. Because I'm unique. So I'm sitting here, having been converted to Scientology by a phone-salesman Iraqi fish, in the wreckage of my burnt down house with my imaginary friend Timmy, typing a random article on my oddly-unharmed computer. Seems pretty normal. And I'm naked. Scientific studies have proven that being naked in public is 98.513146% more likely to earn you respect. Something which you need, because you're an elephant. You're like on the bottom of the food chain. Seriously. You elephant, you're below me on the food chain!

On an unrelated note, chickens are kinda funny. When you kick them, they peck your eyes out. Which is funny. To me. I use too many full stops. Fact. That's how I write. Hmmmm... I need to use more full stops. I don't use enough. I need more. Full. Stops. Actually; no; I need more semi-colons. Oh, forget that, I need more coffee. And KFC. KFC is nice. I put it on my waffles.

Could someone please add images to this? With an image it would look quite pretty so people could be bothered to read more than one sentence. Oh, wait, this isn't a collab. I should make it a collab. Like that time I wrote that article with that monkey. And he crapped on my keyboard. And it got featured. That was funny... too bad it never happened, it was all a dream. Did you hear that, Mary? It was all a dream. Cancel the parade, kids, it was a dream. Never happened. I never got featured. Because I fail. I'm too dumb to write a good article.

Oh look, a monkey wielding a chainsaw[edit]

I'm your enemy. Remember that, because soon I'm going to beat you to death by throwing discarded Pepsi cans at your head. Empty ones. Because I'm evil. Also, I am a Nazi. And Windows 7 was my idea. HEIL MICROSOFT! No, I'm just kidding. Actually, Windows 7 was made by Darth Vader, who was also planning to buy a used exercise bike from one of those weird guys who announces on the radio. As part of his evil plan to get healthy. Loser, loser, twist, twist, turn around and kiss this. Ha. You just got served. You just got owned, pwned, pewned, 0wned, ownt, ownaged, owncaked, ownz0red, owncoptered, noobed, newbed, noobied, noobified, noobificated, Rickrolled, served, and laid, all at once. You may also be interested to know that a new paragraph will be starting...

...right now. To make my article look nice. Yeah. I'm writing an article. I'm writing an article for you. Worship me, for Illogicopedia is God, and this article is like the Bible... and Uncyclopedia is Satan... and Wikipedia is, umm, Xenu, I suppose. Yeah, that. So... what kinda music do you like? No, wait, don't tell me, I don't care really. I'm more interested to know what the precise co-ordinates of your exact location in millimetres were the last time a 32 year old man bought a sandwich. Where were you? This is important. Police work, you see, and I'm not afraid to use CAPS LOCK to get you to speak.

I like sheds. As I stated in all my previous articles, I like sheds. They're useful. They have slaves in them. Well, mine does. I have to live in my shed with my slaves now because my house burned down, and I blame Xenu because Iraqi phone-fish told me to. Wow, if anyone started reading this from the start of that last sentence and disregarding the entire article like some complete idiot, they'd probably think I was some complete idiot, even more so than them for reading an article from the middle of a paragraph rather than the beginning of the entire article. I've got a train of thought going on here... oh, wait, I just forgot everything I know.

Where am I? What year is this? If Y varies inversely as the square of X and Y 5 when X = 2.5, what is the value of Y when X = 9? So many questions left un-answered. But now it's time to watch YouTube. Because it knows everything. Like me. The only thing I don't know is... everything. So I don't know everything, I don't know nothing but I don't not know everything except nothing which I do not know. And you shouldn't know either, pineapple-head, because in a second you won't not be not enjoying your new sofa delivered straight to your door, courtesy of IllogiSofa Sofa Manufacturers!

Oh no, dude, I died[edit]

That's not good. It's bad; mmm'kay? See, I used a semi-colon instead of a comma; because I'm smart. See? I just did it again; and again; and again; man, semi-colons are awesome. You know what else is awesome? Eating your five a day and staying away from excessive consumption of alcohol! That's right kids, and now a word from a random tramp I met while I was killing his family. It was kinda awkward, especially when I offered him a handshake with my hand that was covered in his wife's blood, but then I gave him a muffin and now we're best friends.

And now it's time to dance. Let's dance... or let's not. Who knows? Do tell me, I'm not aware of the situation. I'm watching this thing on TV about whales. Sperm whales... LOL, sperm whales. Dumb name, right? I bet they get made fun of by the other whales, or something. But the actual whales are scary. I'm hiding under my bed because of the scary whales. Can someone write this for me? Just kidding, don't write it for me. It's my article and you can't touch it. It's MINE! All mine! My precious!

Ugh... I'm so bored. Brian, hit me in the mouth. Now. Just grab that energy sword there and smash me right in the mouth... AAAARRRGGHH!! HOLY CRAP!! MY FACE!! AAARRGGHH! Thanks; noob. LOL, another semi-colon! So awesome. Almost as awesome as that time I killed that guy. But then I didn't. But it was close. But I didn't do it. I just helped hide the body. It's on display in my kitchen, would you like to see? I bet you would... because you're like that, aren't you? Pineapple face. Go jump off a spoon into a pool of yoghurt, you dumb butt stink poo. You probably believe that the time is now to dance. But it isn't... the time is now to die. Oh, wait. I'm dead. Heh.

Yeah but no[edit]

It's that time of the month again, when I go to visit my best friend's ex-girlfriend's lawyer in the insane asylum. That place is amazing! You get, like, this stuff, and these things, and like, stuff, and things! Look! Things happen! I've seen some things, man, and some stuff! But yeah, no, yeah, it's, umm, yeah, kinda good. Yeah.

So like... DUDE! Yeah. Totally. Am I high? I think so. In my expert opinion, I must be ill, because my bank account is empty because of that pesky fish. He took my radio, you see, and he preached, proclaiming that strawberries and sheds now run the entire Lithuanian government, and the only true belief is the one that I profit from. Also, elephants will soon be the most respected citizens in Sweden, even more so than the cheesecake-wielding adventurers who dance when you're not looking at them.

Just 10% of your life savings will buy you a brand new girlfriend[edit]

Eh, that was good. Or bad. What say you, Simon? Oh wait, you're dead. Stop being dead in my house! I'll kill you! I'll kill your dead body till you die of death! Or something. Or nothing. Or summin' or nuttin' or whatevah cuz like I don't even care or nuttin' so SHUT UP! Yeah! That's what I thought... or is it? That's what you thought, before I killed you. I'm not even trying any more.

BUT YEAH! They played pretty well. Puh puh puh Poker Face, puh puh Poker Face... mah mah mah mahh. LOL!


of 2 next > last >>Mage I Am11130-Dec-2009 09:47:31Last edited on 30-Dec-2009 10:05:16 by Mage I Am111I belive that we should be allowed to have autocast on all spell except for alchemy and others that require the user to make a decision. I train in the Lumbrige training house on the magic dummies, i think that if auto cast was to be allowed in this area on spells such a "curse" it would cause may hand to hurt less from all the cliking (Which can lead to a medical condition known as RSI Repettitive strain injury). You may be aware but this is one of the most "preffered" places to train the magic skill and if autocast were to be "enabled" in this area just like you could use autocast on any combat skill it would only seem fair to allow its use in the training house.Surly auto cast should be allowed on all spells (with the exception of some). I have provided evidence and medical reasons to back this up.Many ThanksMage I Am111Further notes:Having the autocast on say curse for example just like any other autocast you would only have to be away for 5 minutes for the system to automatically log you out. To keep active would require the user to chat and check on their skills every so often. Therfore users will have an "input" in the social activity arround them.

But without given probability estimating editing policies, how might this Mage I Am111 guy hope to get his lifelong ambition of auto-cast on curse spells? Let's ask Jerry Spring0r. Auto cast curse spells fail actually.

So yeah, and no, are the same person but not. Yeah.

My ass[edit]

Is hairy. My hairy ass is hairy and ass-y. Or something. Survivors of earthquakes make my @ go You've followed a link to a page that doesn't exist yet. To create the page, type in the box below and submit your text. (see the help page for more info) If you are here by mistake, just click your browser's back button. The page may also have been deleted; see the deletion log for details.

And I[edit]

E I E I will always love U U U U I will always love U U U U I U U I U U I U U U I U.