Illogicopedia (reality show)
Fierce competition and skewered calves are the hallmarks of Illogicopedia (reality show). The ceilingmarks  are more subtle, grievous and curmudgeonly. Let us ponder together, the fixed point of entry enthralled by frequent waterings by muted gibbons. At waters edge, the puppets will entertain us with calorie measurements.
The game is played by 0 to 2 contestants, dressed in silly period clothes from Albania or Japan. A master of ceremonies, or "Dick", offers prizes in several languages known and unknown for successfully answering a question while submerged in a tank of caramel. Audience members are selected at random to apply electric shocks to the MC at four minute intervals.
The ratings are through the roof, literally. In fact, last nights winds knocked a few ratings loose, and they smashed the neighbors windows. Pork, although not encouraged, is still offered to Middle Eastern contestants, as a bribe to get family members to watch. Opportunistic gabblers and hangers-on submit proposals to change tank water every month. 
Pleading ignorance on the second flash round of the game can result in leathery flesh deposits. Elbows are particularly susceptible to this, and should be guarded prophelactically to prevent certain denizens of the night from making improper advances to a players personhood. Going bonkers at any time moves the challengers up to the double fast final ultra-lightning round, where anything goes, and often does. 
- Pantheism (proper)
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- Hall mops leave hallmarks, ceiling mops leave ceiling marks. It's in the Bible.
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- What this statement lacks in logic and grammatical correctness, it makes up for in hammers.