International Society of Transgendered Satanists
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The International Society of Transgendered Satanists (Haitian Creole: entènasyonal sosyete a satanists transsèksuèl) is a worldwide not-for-not-for-profit organization. Contrary to popular belief, the Society is in fact not transgendered nor Satanist. according to group founder Dr. Richard Fragel, the name was devised to fool those filthy reds. The real purpose of the society is unknown, all members who have been captured by force have quickly disintegrated into a margarine-like substance. All that is known are its core values and rules, which are listed below.
Core values of the Society[edit | edit source]
- All those from Haiti shall be punished.
- No, I don't care that our group name has been translated into Haitian Creole. They'll still be punished.
- Shut up Jackson, you're on three strikes already. Your opinion is no longer valued.
- The previous also applies to Bruce, but not Anders (who makes a mean lobster thermidor and is therefore forgiven).
- Holocaust jokes are the highest form of flattery. 9/11 jokes are not tolerated.
- All new members bearing the name Harry are to be fast-tracked to the position of Major Super General, excluding the following: those who have previously held the title of President of Uganda, Harrison Ford, and George Harrison. However, Idi Amin is to be accepted at all costs.
- Our members are forbidden from being acquainted with someone of combined Norwegian-Super Japanese heritage. Yes, Jackson, that includes any escorts you hire from your allocated escort fund.
- Our organization does not recognize the independence of Abkhazia, Somaliland, or the Czech Republic.
- Our organization recognizes the full sovreignity of the Fiefdom of Transylvania over the former Yukon Territory.
- No additions are to be added to this list.
- I reserve the right to lie to your faces and add more to this list at any time.
- There are far too many new additions to this list.
- There are far fewer additions to this list than we received last financial year.
- The Society does not recognize the existence of the last financial year.
- The Society fully supports the Stockholm independence movement which is currently popular absolutely nowhere in Sweden.
- As of the 4th of Octcember, 1992, the Society no longer recognizes the possibility of people named Erika to have free will.
- The Society argues that the Russian city of Novosibirsk is in fact a lie, and houses all the survivors of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster of 1899.