King Henry VIII

King Henry VIII, a man of many chins.

Born in the city of Chernobyl, the capitol of Narnia, King Henry VIII ruled the wardrobe-nation from -100,000,000,000,012 B.C.E. to ++59 C.E.

As king he had a taste for fine women, but had trouble getting hold of them. Asda were all out of stock when he called by, and the goods at Tesco looked like someone had been sick on them. Eventually, giving up, he headed off to a nearby off license to get some pistachios and a copy of Nuts!. On his way out he saw the women aisle and picked himself up a 6 pack, cementing his place in history as winner of the 1527 "top bloke award".

History

Born from Queen Henry IX and Joseph Stalin, King Henry VIII was not a king until the eleventh day of the eleventh month of his eleventh year of being eight. This is because his evil twin brother, King Henry VII (By 34 minutes) had yet to conquer the mystical wardrobe that contained Narnia. However, after 3 level-5 incantations dropping his mana to 3 points, 12 sacrifices of his top 7 Schnauzer-Battleram cards and his HP dipping down to √2, King Henry VII had successfully defeated the Entrance to Narnia (Lv. 439932). His twin, taking advantage of his weak state, sacrificed him to the Gods of Chernobyl with his Alakazam and earned +10 luck points. He was now ready to conquer Narnia.

Fight for Control of Narnia

The kingdom of Narnia (his constituency) was famously plagued by talking lions, something he had promised to put a stop to as part of his election campaign. Making good on his word he sent his sister, the White Witch, to defeat the self-proclaimed Lion King and lay waste to his minions. However after mere hours his plans were thwarted by the appearance of Smokey the Bear at the battle of Abrigos de Fuego (Genital Warts).

Discouraged by the occurances of the battle, he called his troops to retreat. They succesfully held their lines for the rest of the war, eventually reaching an armastice with the lions.

Aftermath

With the breakout of riots in the the capitol city of Chernobyl King Henry VIII realized the people were not fond of having him as king anymore. So he picked out an ugly boy in the crowd he was giving a speech to and proclaimed "this is my successor!".

The boys name was Mr. Sauhgnidab (german for sissy man). He made the nation prosporous with a series of economical campaigns known as Operation Sitzplinker. The lion problem was dealt with and Narnia prospers to this day.

Kings and Queens

Hey, you frog-wielding sword-toed poo-slinging timers! Here are the kings and queens:

William • Super Mario • The King of England • King Friday XIII • King Henry VIII • King of all Wikipedia • Raggle Fraggle King • Drew the blinds • Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus Tiberius Claudius Nero Caligula Rufus Romanum III • Queen Victoria • The Queen • Queen