The King of England
The King of England is a gibbering, pompous buffoon who has gone on public record as refusing to eat cats on several occasions. He is also known as "The King of Auto Body", "The King of The Road", "The King of Sandwiches", "The King of Beers", "The King of Halloween" and "Goochie". He drives a different car from his stable of 22 high-end roadsters every day of the week. His Christian name is Caramillo Sepsis Costanza, his formal title is Random Procreator of the Realm. As of April, 2012, he had 57 mistresses, owing to his possession of a patented pheromone which renders women completely stupid and gullible.
He ingests Claret and Xanax continuously, and has been since 1988. His dad is a doily seamstress and his mum is a bear baiter. Both parents agreed to give the horribly ugly baby Caramillo to a hobbled and deranged cousin of his da, Prescott Neutered Syndrome, Third Earl of Early Risington. Until he was six, the young lad was kept under hemp blankets and hidden from all but intimate family view, whereupon his foster mother Clampia insisted he wear a pewter mask to prevent his foster siblings vomiting at the sight of his truly disgusting visage. For a while in the 1970s it was rumored that HP Lovecrafts writings were based on his facial deformities. These persisted until Carl Sagan pointed out that Lovecraft had died long before the royal had been born. Still, talk of this persists among Mormons.
| Kings and Queens |
| Hey, you frog-wielding sword-toed poo-slinging timers! Here are the kings and queens: |
| William • Super Mario • The King of England • King Friday XIII • King Henry VIII • King of all Wikipedia • Raggle Fraggle King • Drew the blinds • Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus Tiberius Claudius Nero Caligula Rufus Romanum III • Queen Victoria • The Queen • Queen |