Objects can't think

I saw an object the other day on the train. It was short, brown and looked like it came from somewhere. I noticed another object. It was a lighter shade of brown. I seemed to think something out of my head. The funny thing is that… I thought it and then it went back into my head.

I brought a new chair and as soon as I got it home, it thought something about America. I wanted to know what he thought but it turned out he's mute. My brain was telepathic. I could know what objects were thinking. The chair was getting ideas about other objects around him. I put the fridge next to the chair, to see if they would get along. They had very different political views.

My door hinges started unscrewing themselves from the frame and told me about the crappy decor in my house. They were the only objects in my home that could move. The other objects had to have me push them.

When I went to sleep I could hear my bed's thoughts

It told me that the walls were socialists and the carpet was a beatnik. I loved the carpet and the walls and couldn't accept this claim. I placed a bowl of grapes on top of the chair and wanted to watch a thought.

I told the people at work this and they wanted to have dinner with my bed.