Radio Head
This is an article created in mind of the people here on Illogicopedia who DO'H'NT know about the actual British band. If you are familiar with Radiohead and their songs enough to understand lyrical references, or if you're Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive, who is a totally insane fan of Radiohead like TrippyFlower is an "insane Beatlemaniac," or if you're Awesomedecks, please visit the actual article.
Radio Head is a term used to describe your typical one-night-stand in a cheap, rundown hotel in the Caribbean Pirate Area or some other tourist-infested place that eventually lands you in Downtown Las Vegas, dirt broke and robbed. As you search your pockets, you find a paper that says:
Dearest Customer,
It is with great displeasure and concern that we provide to you your test results. But because we're not pros (we're amateurs who can barely play our G-scales), we won't burden your brian with all those numbers and Latin names and sadistically statistical graffs that murder ur neurons. Don't worry; because we think you're special (like our manager, Mr. Gruntsalot), we conferred and developed a professional amateur diagnosis and Spanish onion.
Results: U r positively charged for diabetic ebolAIDS canceritis. Opinioninioiiinoin: You're f*****. It wuz nice knowing yah.
In case ur wonderin', by the time you reach the end of this letter, you will start to see Michael Jackson riding an albino elephant in the sky. If not, then you'll start seeing Wes Anderson movies flash before your very eyes. (I may not be a pro doctor, but I'm a pro at bustin' rhymes!) What else... oh yeah. We Oslo found out how you contracted diabetic ebolAIDS canceritis. We cut up your stomach and found huge amounts of sjink lining your esophagus and colon. We thought it looked delicious, so we had some ourselves too. Because of this smart decision we made, we are now suing you for forcing us to eat a toxic substance. We are now going to kick the bucket with you. Pay up.
Sincerely,
Your usual 40th cousin of monies del Minchinbury
NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE MONIES!!! NOT! THE! MONIES!!!
Random-Assed Fact: Sjink oxide is beneficially beneficial to your beneficiaries in times of economic stress.
Notable Cases of Radio Head[edit | edit source]
Case #1: Thomas Edward Yorke
After one of his most douchebagiest strolls through the mythical kingdom of Wakanda, Thomas, overcome with the urge to desecrate a religious shrine in the name of human defecation, decided to find a good shrine to do so. After spotting a statue of Cthulhu, he ran to it and... well, let's just say that he commenced the desecration of the beloved statue. But instead of leaving a pleasantly steaming surprise for the people who would go and pray to the statue that day, he laid an entire gold ore. "No wonder my mum called me 'Golden Boy,'" he exclaimed. The letter described earlier fell into his hands, but he was Thomas; no one could force him to read. As he bent o'er to pick it up, a bearterflyer swooped down and carried him into SnarfLand. Humanity never heard from him again. How did we get this info? We found the bearterflyer flying around in Siberia and decided to interview him. According to him (or it), he was checking his social status on his iPehonay None when he noticed Thomas going about Wakanda. Before we could get any other details, the bearterflyer was shot down by native Yoozorks and used as high-end fur coats and fertilizer for their land.
Case #14: The King of Ossololoboota
The King of Ossololoboota was abusing his mostest trustedest viceroy, when he suddenly heard a loud boom emanating from his mancave. Being a king that has access to all of his kingdom's riches, he passed it off as a collapsed pillar and continued his abuse. Approximately 22.2662804435127849 milliseconds later (tryhards, aren't we?), there was another loud boom, followed by an accidentally loud obscenity. The king, being bored of his excessively royal opulence, decided that he ought to have fun beheading someone that day, so he decided to see who was responsible for the loud booming sounds. He saw his wife the queen being-
WHAT IN THE GREAT HINDLEYITE'S AND CTHULHU'S BABIES' SACRILEGIOUS USERNAMES ARE YOU DOING HERE IN THESE TOP SECRET RADIO HEAD STOCKPILING CENTERS!? THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HERE TO SEE!!! WE ARE TEH LOOMINARTY! I WITNESSED A GOAT TRY TO MATE WITH MY LAND SHARKS ALL AT ONCE!! SNARF!!!
...
God damn it! I'm gonna be a-feedin' my chil'ren street scraps fo' two mo' years now! Go on righ' ahea', ya twerp. Git all up innat secret radio head stuff. Seems like i los' meh job.
-courted by several French Bodhisattvas that had invaded his kingdom. Awestruck by the amount there were, he rushed out of his castle. Once he was a quarter mile away, he blew it up telepathically. A paper plane hit his head at the same time, which was the note described earlier. Before he could see his diagnosis, he overheard some young teenage degenerate with a snepp-beck, surnglerslers, a black shirt, khakis, Jordans, and an odd contraption in his hand called a "controller." He suddenly yelled "GET REKT KID!!!" The King of Ossololoboota's body was found with approximately 47 joint butts, about 2 liters of Mountain Dew on his body (possibly used as an embalming fluid), and a large gaping hole between his eyes.
Random-Assed Fact: Pop songs can be very catchy - SO IS INFLUENZA YOU SOD!!!
[edit | edit source]
This is an article section created in mind of the people here on Illogicopedia who DO'H'NT know about subject continuity. If you are familiar with picture books and their derivatives enough to understand catchphrases, or if you're some guy on the internet who is a totally insane fan of trains like that hippie chick I knew once who watched a show about flapjacks or something, or if you're Awesomedecks, you've probably been asked to edit this article.
Ooh, he's a tickling woodland menace.
The internal monologue of cassette recorders[edit | edit source]
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
Those things cost, like, fifty bucks these days! Is that how much they were when they first came out? How am I going to document the end of days on a student budget now?
Random-Assed Fact: No one likes a smart-ass, but we all like movie stars.
Why trees sing[edit | edit source]
They sing,
- O, O, something's gone wrong
- Why? Why? Where are all my leaves!
- NO MERCY!
Random-Assed Fact: Trees actually don't sing, m'kay?
Fausts?[edit | edit source]
No. Shut down, not up.
Wait... shut down...
HAX!!! HAX!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!!!
"What's the topping?"
"Uh... I don't know, but it reminds me of..."
"Of what?"
"You know that black stuff in bird sheet?"
"Erm... what are you trying to - "
"THAT'S BIRD SHEET TOO!!!"
"...Contessas?"
In response to various arps to the fausts (cuz bae, DUH!!!), I think we all need to taste some roast weef. Wait, did it just say... QUEEF?! Cheeses, get a grip! Shouldn't you just resort to the consumption of truffle butter for cryin' out loud!? Or strawberry shortcakes? Remember: less is more in the sixth world?
Imagine a 20th class citizen.
Random-Assed Fact: This article section goes well with guacamole and wasabi.