Flytipping

From Illogicopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Flytipping is a recently-emerged sport in the UK that is much harder and much, much more illegal than cowtipping. The aim of the game is implicit in the name - to tip over a live fly, although dead ones can net a few points too.

As of yet, there is no one foolproof method to tipping flies over. The more precise-fingered flytipper often uses something like a chopstick or a safety pin, but most amateurs tend to go all-out and brutalise the fly with a hardback book or a mallet, usually out of frustration and the realization that the game is pointless. For this reason, the game system has developed a fairly lenient system of rules and points, with high amounts of points awarded for things like "not getting fly juice in the eye" and "buggering off down the pub".

With the instatement of Flytipping as an olympic sport, the UK can expect at least one gold medal in the 2012 games. This is assuming, of course, that the only participant, a middle-aged man from Birmingham, can be bothered. This represents a recent unprecedented 400% increase in the popularity of Flytipping.

Flytipping is a sport often broadcast live on Channel 5 on weekday afternoons. However, sceptics hace been recorded as saying, "well, yeah, but what sport isn't?"

If you are considering taking up Flytipping, the government has provided a phone number to contact to try and persuade you otherwise; see direct.gov.uk for more info.