Tarantulum

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Tarantulum is a chemical element that was invented by a group of religiously eclectic, Noball Prize winning alchemists on 2005 (on November 3rd at 4.35pm if you want to be precise about it). Tarantulum is commonly confused with the transition metal Tantalum. Unlike Tantalum, Tarantulum is not mined in Western Australia and is instead harvested from a rare species of giant Tarantula commonly found in the Amazon.

Prospecting for Tarantulum involves a prospector firstly logging into Amazon and then entering their credit card details. An amount of Tarantulum will then be dispatched within 3 to 5 working days.

Tarantulum is refined by drying and grinding an extremely rare species of Tarantula of which exactly none remain on the planet Earth. It is believed that all remaining Tarantulum carrying spiders left the Earth to go and live on some planet, as narrated in the documentary Starship Troopers.

While the refining process is similar, Tarantulum should not be confused with the chemical element Tranantulum. There is still a copious amount of Tranantulum to be found, particularly in Sydney, Australia and San Francisco.

ALsO TaranTulum WiLL CAusE MadNess TO DeVElop THat CausES A UrGe To DAnCe LiKe....A...HaLF...DrUNk....SpIDer. WiTH A SpO0n On It'S FoREhEad AnD EatS ChIcKens AlL THe TimE. I Am N0t MaD....YOu ArE!