Bob Beckel
Bob Beckel likes to rub mustard on his bourbon.
Early childhood[edit | edit source]
When Bob was a little boy he used to dress up like Burt Reynolds and kick-punch stray dogs who were unfortunate enough to look at him through telescopes. His best friend at the time was Billy Joe McGillicutty, a famous banana smuggler with a penchant for gargling crime novels.
Fox News[edit | edit source]
“Right again, Dana. I do indeed hate America.”
One afternoon when Bob was out and about trying to squeeze himself into tollbooths, he stumbled into the offices of Fox News. Rupert Murdoch was so impressed with his ability to eat 25 sub-sandwiches without vomiting that he gave Bob a job sorting green bottles from brown ones.
Personal life[edit | edit source]
Bob is a devout liberal who hates freedom and loves the films of Alan Rickman. He has never been married because he feels that you shouldn’t have to buy the cow when the neighbor’s swimming pool is on fire.
| Political blowhards | ||||
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Ann Coulter • Ben Gleck • Bill O'Reilly • Bob Beckel • Glenn Beck • John Stossel • Keith Olbermann • Michael Savage • Ben Shapiro • Rush Limbaugh • Sean Hannity | ||||