Ann Coulter

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She's going to get you too!

Ann Coulter is a marine animal of questionable veracity, writer, blowhard and competitive spitter. She was born to Rufus and Skittles Coulter in 1978 and grew up in Criminy, New York. Her father, a garden variety juggernaut, made his fortune piloting juggers through harsh terrain in terrible weather, wearing latex undergarments and three pink boas. Mother Skittles was noted for breaking 5 skateboard land speed records using turbine antler boosters ironically attached to the underside of her vehicles.

At age 4, Ann was accepted to the Flippant School for Hard Blowing at Cape Redundant, California. She was elbow picked by then professor of moving the air around with his mouth Donald Trump to help pioneer his Future Loudmouths of America project. She quickly gained notoriety on the playground as a sadistic bully, systematically beating up the biggest children on a regular basis and spraying the more nerdy kids with otter feces.

The family fortune had been amassed three generations prior by Ebenezer K. Toad-Coulter, who organized a group of ruffians into an enforcement agency. Much of his work came from the garment nd cement businesses, who required such services when dealing with tax codes.

See Also[edit | edit source]

Political blowhards

Ann CoulterBen GleckBill O'ReillyBob BeckelGlenn BeckJohn StosselKeith OlbermannMichael SavageBen ShapiroRush LimbaughSean Hannity