Chairs

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Chairs are fishy creatures. (a chair, on the other hand, is entirely trustworthy) They can be found giggling and munching on whatever things you happen to leave atop them - including other chairs. In any case, make sure never to sit on them while unpresent, as you never know if you'll still be in one piece once you get back to see whether you are or not.

How to find chairs[edit]

The following explanation (key points underlined) is offered by the marvelous, award-winning textbook that is "On How to Find Chairs", written by Eeble sonk in the year of the Fnurdle. Click here to buy your very own copy for a mere life!

Ah, dear reader! There are gurgling carrots and cookies in your... err, your nose...? Or within your cheese, perhaps? Yes, because it'd be pretty strange for carrots and cookies to gurgle inside your nose, where they could so easily be found! Carrots and cookies gurgling within cheese, on the other hand, are far less obvious, provided they gurgle quietly, keeping it to levels sensebibble enough – you'll never hear them coming, never hear them as they both carrotify and cookify you in your sleep!

Who knows where they might be hiding? Under your bed, perhaps? Carrots and cookies gurgling within cheese under your bed, rotating tons of fishy chairs in the process? Fishy chairs that can inexplicably be found under your bed as well! Were it not for the fact that they are invisible, of course, meaning that you cannot be prepared! What, you expected the gurglers not to take precautions!? They are smart, you know – very much so! Verily, you stand little chance, if any at all. The carrots and cookies will gurgle, and there is nothing you can do about it!

What then? Well, you'll simply have to live through it – the terrible, terrifying experience of carrots and cookies gurgling under your bed, fishy chairs rotating all the while! Where did these chairs come from, by the way? That shall forever remain a mystery!

—On How to Find Chairs, Eeble sonk

How to avoid chairs[edit]

You cannot. You simply cannot. Should you ever try, your nose will activate its God powers and instantly begin to materialize dozens of them!

Furniture
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