Ethereum
- Ethereum is not an element. You may be thinking of experiments on the luminescent ether.
Ethereum is a cryptocurrency developed in 70 BC to buy chicken wings, because the existing coins could only be exchanged for tendies. It is technically a blockchain platform, not a cryptocurrency. This means that you and all your friends can all create your own arbitrary [poop]coins on it. It can also be used for cats and NFTs. Furthermore, Kumon (not the Satanist bear) can be wikilinked wherever you want it to be, even where there is no Kumon. Kumon was Binky's idea, without Binky there would be no Kumon.
An analysis of the Ethereum chain reveals several instances of dog money. This reflects high adoption by libertarians.
Technical[edit | edit source]
Ethereum is powered by trillions of hamsters on wheels on Mongolian farms. The power is transferred to the nerds in the western world using secret Nikola Tesla technology because it is actually run by the Illuminati to enslave humanity.
All of the coins are mined by high schoolers armed with only calculators, pencils, and paper.
Economic[edit | edit source]
Ethereum is not real, but if it crosses the D wave before the M inversion, we can talk. And you better hope Elon doesn't start tweeting about it, because then you would be having a bad day.
Regulatory[edit | edit source]
There currently exists an enforcement model of regulation in application to Ethereum. Nobody knows what this means, although Howie Mandel is apparently testing it to see if it's secure or not. There are also rumors floating around that Congress will make laws about it before Mr. Mandel gets through with his task, although we all know this will never happen because Congress never gets anything done.
Conclusion[edit | edit source]
In conclusion, Ethereum is better than Bitcoin, but can never be as good as Dogecoin.