Fluffotherapy

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Hello! I am a certified fluffotherapist, trained in the ways of Fluffology.

The First Treatment[edit]

So, what can I help you with?

I, I have a bit of a problem expr...

Ah, you cannot properly express your cheese through your nose!

How do you mean?

The mustardness of your mind has clearly sapped following excessive nostril excersize. I suggest you to avoid putting moose inside of them at night. And, most importantly, do not under any circumstances leave your carrots unattended! Unattended carrots can be very dangerous, and may steal your sonks. You do have your sonks intact, don't you?

Err, what do y-

Oh, I guess not. Now, not to worry, for with my vast, vast expertise, I shall surely help you!

Really? You don't seem very trustwh-

Yes, really; it's true! ...Honest.

...

Now, to begin with... Picture a gigantic cheesecake. See it float towards you, then suddenly turn into an edible chair! Go on, don't be shy; it clearly wants to be eaten. Nevermind the horrified screams it makes as you advance, mouth open, drool dripping and eyebrows twitching - cheese in your nose and salmon gurgling in your pockets. Ah, yes! Eat it! Leave not a single chip of wood in place! Muhahahaaa!

What the...? What the hell is wrong with you!?

Now, now - calm down! You are - after all - the one with an issue; I am the trained professional. Now, do you want to be helped or not!?

...

Good. I guess it's time to cut to the chase; now, basically... You are, or will soon be, a terribly garbage-can approached nosy grue-ridden unfluffy cheese covered excuse of a volatile, fluttering nose shampoo! Your sonks are very, very, very eeble!

S-s-sonks? E-e-eeble? N, no! I... It cannot be true! NOOOOOOOOO! I feel... sensible! Yes, hihihi - I am sensible! i MAKE SENSE1!!1

Eeeeeeeee!

...
THUD!

That'll be $2000 for your treatment. Next?

The Second Treatment[edit]

I...

Need help, yes? Now, I'm in a bit of a hurry, so let's get this over with.

...?

SONK SONK SONK!

Sonksonks... AAAAAAAAA!

That'll be $1000. Enjoy your sanity!

Anyone else needing help?

See also[edit]