IllogiNews:Jeb promises: "Just the tip"
This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages. |
HARLAN, Ellison - American royal John Ellis "Jeb" Bush formally came out of the cash cow closet today at the diminutive, corn-fed Piltdown Middle School, a typical red state institution training young people to take back America (or 'Merka to the more slack-jawed members of the student body). Good old boy Jeb announced his intention to run for the Republican ticket in the 2016 presidential race to a mixed crowd of working class folks (the gullible ones) and the stupid rich.
During his speech, Governor Bush wooed workers, both blue collar and the working poor, and even such reprehensible types as welfare recipients, telling them that, "I am the only candidate who won't treat you like you're stupid. I will tell you the truth and I will keep my promises. And my first promise is this; you know that, no matter who is elected president, in the end, you will always get screwed... in the end... so to speak. I stand here today and promise that if elected, yes, I too will screw you, in the end... so to speak... but it will just be the tip."
"My Republican colleagues will certainly not stop at the tip. And all of my Democratic opponents are sure to leave y'all with twitching sphincters and permanent injuries."
Jeb Bush 2016: Just the tip