Mehriban Aliyeva

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Oil money isn't just for Arabs.
Aliyeva was a noted alchemist for the Environmental Protection Agency before entering politics.

Mehriban Aliyeva is the Vice President of Azerbaijan and Nobel Prize for Swamp Draining winner. It was the same year as Iris Pear for Science and a droner for Peace.

Aliyeva pisses off Iran[edit | edit source]

One time Aliyeva drew a cartoon of herself without a headscarf. In response, Iran issued a fatwa declaring Azerbaijan makruh and dispatched the fashion police to that country. They arrested a lot of people. However, they later discovered that they only went to the Azerbaijan in Iran.

Aliyeva pisses off America[edit | edit source]

Another time, Aliyeva announced that the manat would become a reserve currency. Then America invaded, captured Aliyeva, and set up a puppet government.

(Also, the above incident made America jealous, and inspired a whole psyop.)

Aliyeva pisses off Turkey[edit | edit source]

Since pissing off Iran and America was boring, Aliyeva decided to piss off Turkey by sending troops through Bosnia en route to France. Turkey did nothing.

Then she whispered an insult against Ataturk in a middle school that had no one in it because of a mold problem. Turkey did nothing again, because Atatürk is spelled with an ü.

Aliyeva pisses off the Soviet Russia[edit | edit source]

Having two cows.

Aliyeva pisses off den Dritte Reich[edit | edit source]

Not being Aryan enough.

Aliyeva pisses off Albania[edit | edit source]

Not picking a side.

Aliyeva pisses off Francist Spain[edit | edit source]



I really didn't know where I was going with this one.