Pyrophagia

So, you just got home and you think to yourself, you know what? I think I'll have a snack. You look in the refrigerator (or fridge, if you're British like me) - and what do you find? Some mouldy bread and an empty bottle of Pepsi. There's nothing to eat in the house! Serves you right for not buying stuff, doesn't it. Anyway, you're about to give up and die a slow and painful starvation death because you're too lazy to go to the shop and buy some, when you notice something. A small glowing object in the distance. You rush over to this object and cram it down your throat. AARGH! It was a candle! You burn the flesh off your mouth and die a slow and painful death.

But then Jesus comes to your house and brings you back to life. So you don't die. Not yet, anyway.

Anyway, what you just tried was Pyrophagia - the art of EATING FIRE FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT. People do this a lot. Most of the time, they do it simply to combat the b00f eating dog monster. Because everyone knows that b00f-eating dog monsters are afraid of fire and the smell of burning flesh.

So whait, liek, hao duu eye eatz teh fier?

Well, to perform an act of Pyrophagia, one must have access to fire and their own throat. After obtaining these (both can be obtained from Lumbridge Castle after you've done Dragon Slayer), the person must then insert the flaming death-stick... umm... glowing item of pleasure into their throat and EAT THE FORKING THING. It's also a good idea to write a suicide note and send it to whoever gives a crap.

But den wut iv itz guna hurt me? Dat wud nawt B gud.

Well, duh.