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Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the dead. At least it does in China. In the Western world, it is merely a drink.

Effects and types[edit]

The most common form of Pepsi is simply, well, Average Pepsi. It is essentially just a soft drink which is the solution to every problem. As they say, 'Coca-Cola creates problems, Pepsi solves them'.

Who's they, you may ask? Well, the advertising campaign for PepsiCo is billions of dollars worth.

Then you have Aquafina, which is a variant of Pepsi. Only it's uncarbonated, and tasteless. The most of us just call it water.

Is it now?

Then you have Crystal Pepsi, which is carbonated, and tasteful, but still has no colour. Like The Dress, some see it as blue. Most people who see it as blue are presumably on psychedelics of some kind.

Pepsi is a favoured drink of alchemists, who occasionally use it in one of their recipes. A recipe for making gold involved combining Pepsi with chalk from a certain cliff in Norway, and orange zest.

“Say the word 'zesty' one more time... I dare you...”

~ The alchemist who came up with that recipe, and is currently planning to create a line of Make-Your-Own-Gold Kits.

The Cola Wars[edit]

Cola Wars is like Star Wars, only much more minimalist. I could go on and on about making puns on the titles of each film, but I'm not going to.

Avoid cliches like the plague. Avoid hypocrisy too.

Work in progress? I think not.

The difference between Pepsi and Coke to solve and resolve the Cola Wars?[edit]

Nothing. They are literally the same. Except that the one contains 24.567 milligrams of tennessine, and the other contains 24.568.

See also[edit]

This article is burly men unfolding umbrellas.
  Maybe you should help it on its way.  
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AlcoholApple juiceBeerBepisBrawndoCarrot juiceCoca ColaCoffeeColaCreamy milkDiet BloodGin and JuiceIllogiCocktailJägermeisterLemonadeMilkMountain DewMudchaOrange juicePepsiRyeSodaTequilaVodkaWhiskyWine