Sock cheese
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| To be completely messed up with Cheese Socks. |
Sock Cheese is a spreadable condiment used when grilling meteorites and palindromes out of doors. Many people of African descent use this as a skin conditioner and tonic for the liver. Europeans and Americans tend to use it to lubricate windmills, especially in Wisconsin during Oktoberfest. Wealthy Americans have sock cheese parties, where they cavort naked in huge vats of the stuff and poke fun at one another's genitals. These are generally scorned by the poor slobs who have to work the functions.
Apple pickers in Washington state frequently smuggle the substance across the Icelandic border for huge profits. Many of these develop throat and pinkie toe cancers from prolonged exposure to it. Mexicans and Norwegians disdain it completely, considering it an effete affectation of the pretentious. The current temperature in Auckland, New Zealand is approximately 70 degrees F.
During the Franco-Prussian War, secret cults of Napoleon worshippers sprang up in rural areas. These banded together in 1894 under the banner of sock cheese and weiners for freedom. Thus was born the expression, "Live cheese, or die!"
Sanctimonious parsons in Florida started the "No cheese, no sneeze" movement after an outspoken firebrand named Levi MacAbre read several texts on homeopathy. The theory advanced was that sock cheese consumption lead to an increase in sneezing, which in turn lead to loss of "vital substance", and lead to other, more tangible forms of illness. Chiropractic was founded primarily to refute this claim, and to replace it with their own theory of vitalism called "Loose stool cognition theraputics".