Sushi Patrol

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The original band for Nightwish.

Sushi Patrol is the new name of the band Nightwish after the new lead singer Annette Olzon (who replaced old singer Sharon Osbourne) took over creative control from keyboardist Tuomas Holopainen and partaking in various activities in an order that would form an acronym.[edit]

"This next söng, it is kÄlled, Lick My Love Pump"
Guess why she got in the band... Just kidding.
  1. S Firstly, Annette took all history of the band's previous lyrics and changed them so that they are all on the subject of something beginning with S. For example, Passion and the Opera is renamed Salmon and the Opera; while Nemo is renamed Sea Anemone.
  2. U Then, Annette underlined every word in this part of the list.
  3. S Then, Annette looked upon her first stage (see above first S) and had a laugh.
  4. H Annette then flirted with Holopainen, which resulted in their song Lick My Love Pump.
  5. I Afterwards she implemented a system so that every time the letter "i" is said within Nightwish's lyrics it is pronounced as "Eeeeeeeee!"
  6. space She then floated into space, and died.
  7. P Tuomas noted that they needed band members in order to be a band, and so he re-Placed Annette with a clone of herself.
  8. A Annette then said "I'm taking control of the drum machine" and created a clone of AAAAAAAAA! on illogicopedia. Sigh.
  9. T She then took on the alias of Peter Kay, therefore prefixing every word with "T'"; for experience she could later apply in her lyrics.
  10. R "Arriteration," said the Japanese Churchill impersonator; "that is the key to being recognised as run of the geniuses of irrogiopedia". Annette and Tuomas took this on board, but ignored it.
  11. O Every lyrical master knows that music's got to have hole: a void that needs to be filled expressed within their lyrics. Annette took note of this and made sure she would go "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." more often.
  12. L "No, me said "R"!," said the Japanese Chulchirr impelsonatol. Tuomas made a note to carr fol seculity.

...and thus sushi patrol was born. Their name quickly became established throught the UK and demonised by Japan and Super Japan, stating

“Oul lerigion states that oul god must not be depicted! This is an afflont!”

~ on Japan

...but SUSHI PATROL just gave them some money and they went away.

Their latest album[edit]

They released their first album in 2007, which was called "Dark Passion Play" in reference to all of the dark goings-on in Tuomas' basement. The tracklisting was as follows:

# Title Length (minutes)
1 "S, U, S-H-I; Go! (intro)" 16:42
2 "Rhythmus of Her Last Meal" 40:11
3 "Weird Flower Day" 103:51
4 "Dark Passion Play" 94:14
5 "Y0R M0M 1S G4Y (interlude)" 00:00.001
6 "Song for Orphans" 112:59
7 "Courtesan" 69:00
8 "Untitled" 101874728:11
9 "Beep (Pussycat Dolls Cover)
(Sushi Patrol Remix)"
10 "The Icelander (interlude)" 00:01
11 "Anubis, Bringer of Lots of Things
(Brings the Things of Multitude)"
12 "Sky Imagery Wolf (interlude)" 00:07
13 "Gazing Into Infinicy"
14 "Secret Track (Not Hidden)(Or Bidden By Satan)
(Qu'el'th'a'las Compels You To Buy This Album)
(Ooh Look Subliminal Messages in Brackets)

Total Running Time: forever

A Nightwish groupie misinterpreting their new band name; but nonetheless enjoying herself.

This album generated much hype and misinterpretation.

Why did Sushi Patrol do a cover of the Pussycat Dolls?[edit]

Who cares? All of their songs sound the same anyway.