User talk:Alberthacle

Normally I'm summoned through a special (and very visceral) ceremony that involves boiling dehydrated bear meat and silicon in a cauldron of formaldehyde, which is then placed into the center of a a pentagram drawn with goat blood campfire, and by chanting the words "Get up, get up/You stupid idiot!/Get up, get up/Stop being a vidiot!" five times. It seems that I have appeared nonetheless under mysterious circumstances, so what am I to do? I dunno. Snarf.

Oh, and here's our depressingly outdated welcoming template. It's for telling new users that their subscription to Gameinformer will expire if they don't offer their actual brains to SEPPY THE CONQUERER within 45 seconds of joining.

Welcome to ?pedia! Hope you enjoy your stay. Please leave your nouns in the locker room (behind the the door marked "LOLCHEESE") So anyway, this is a pseudo-official greeting from a user who may or may not be an admin/sysop/werewolf, so here come the obligatory links to pages to help you out and tell you "Don't be teh vandal kthx": Our beginner's guide is here If you want more info on ?pedia, 'tis right here, and in case you've come from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia or some other "humour" wiki, we also recommend that you understand how ?pedia is different from other wikis A less sensible explanation of our beloved 'pedia is here Our general disclaimer is not here, but here --> LOOKIE Don't be afraid to visit us on IRC DISCORD The rules, such as "ROFL KILL THE BABIESN'T PLZN'T (notn't)" are here. People breaking the rules will have a koala thrown at them, and may also possibly receive a Chinese burn. So, that's all for now... Please be nice, make great articles and help contribute to our community in any way possible: e.g. template making, voting for articles or users, et cetera. ~ The Illogicopedia Welcoming Committee “NO ACTUALLY, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AND WE HOPE YOU DIE.” ~ The Illogicopedia Community on welcoming new members

Nose teh cheese. 02:18, 18 Jeremy 2017 (UTC)

Mid afternoon of reckoning

It was mid afternoon today when I reckoned I'd check in on Illogicopedia. I'm one of these Illogicopedians who shows up about once every quarter and causes trouble, does some adminly things, writes and/or edits articles and on the rare and joyous occasion, welcomes a new user who bothers to register. So, with no regard for the walruses on my stoop, I personally welcome you to this, our little Dada enterprise. If you want to hang with the cool kids, you can't be an asshole. A pretty low bar but it is, such as it is. This is not to say that there are not occasional outbreaks of assholery, but we generally get past it quickly. We don't care much for drama and such.

There a small but varied bunch here, and I like it that way. I abhor living in a bubble of like-minded people exclusively, and this is a cool place to translate ourselves honestly into The Dada.

Enjoy your journey as we push the recline buttons down, dreaming of someplace shady with Dreamland coming on. (kaizum me) 09:25, 19 Jeremy 2017 (UTC)