User talk:Bamsemums

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Welcome to ?pedia! Hope you enjoy your stay. Please leave your nouns in the locker room
(behind the the door marked "LOLCHEESE")

So anyway, this is a pseudo-official greeting from a user who may or may not be an admin/sysop/werewolf, so here come the obligatory links to pages to help you out and tell you "Don't be teh vandal kthx":

  • Our beginner's guide is here
  • If you want more info on ?pedia, 'tis right here, and in case you've come from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia or some other "humour" wiki, we also recommend that you understand how ?pedia is different from other wikis
  • A less sensible explanation of our beloved 'pedia is here
  • Our general disclaimer is not here, but here --> LOOKIE
  • Don't be afraid to visit us on IRC DISCORD

The rules, such as "ROFL KILL THE BABIESN'T PLZN'T (notn't)" are here. People breaking the rules will have a koala thrown at them, and may also possibly receive a Chinese burn.

So, that's all for now... Please be nice, make great articles and help contribute to our community in any way possible: e.g. template making, voting for articles or users, et cetera.

~ The Illogicopedia Welcoming Committee


~ The Illogicopedia Community on welcoming new members

On our most annoying spammer[edit source]

As you may have noticed, we have a bit of a long-term "Hyena spam" annoyance here, as our filter for it is called. After cleaning up after, and tweaking the filter for, the latest "SexPicturesFree" sock, I browsed around a bit more broadly and saw you've been interacting with the very same vandal on Uncyclopedia, Crocotta1. Except that unlike Svex, who is banned in both places, Crocotta1 only plays that role here (and is basically like another Svex here, except slightly more varied and less easy to pin down with a simple filter). Well, as long as she's not doing something bannable on Uncyclopedia, I guess she stays there. But anyway, in case you missed it and it becomes relevant, and also in case it gets worse there and you want a head start on a filter later...

And also, the missing welcome – or the other part of it... I hope I'm not doing you a bear favor by adding it here. Mums fillibabba!

Whether it's through compulsory community service for crimes we won't go into or just personal choice, you've just joined illogicopedia. First and foremost, may I take your coat *rifles through the pockets*.

This greeting if not nailed to your forehead (or applied forcefully with No More Nails) is most likely from an admin/werewolf/Jonas the Happy Vandal/Sysop which makes it excellent, so RELAX. Now we're all relaxed, I'll quickly get through the bits you need to know (rules and where to go etc, and my bribe of course):

  • If you're actually a vandal then prepare to be squashed by an oversized novelty sandal.
    Duck patrol2.JPG
  • If you're a complete beginner to wiki's then you may want to click here.
  • If you're nibbling on any cheese or cookies at the moment, STOP! ...Hammer Time! Those are for Santa - our resident stuttering old perv.
  • Just so you know what we're about (the life drawing class is left of that pop-up) I'd advise clicking here. I have to emphasise the section "In comparison to other wikis", just incase you're a fleeing uncyclopedia/uncycling flea user etc.
  • Any featured work will be rewarded with a gold star (to put on your Christmas tree) whilst any !$"?@#!1*&!! work will be rewarded with a swift slap to the chops.
  • If you turn out to infact be a brilliant user and aren't at this point laughing at the huge crater you've made where the Illogia once stood then you could be elidgible for Writer of the Month (or at least an unofficial Insane/Dedication award). If all else fails drink holy water and watch as a big hole-y forms through your heart.
  • If it all goes horribly wrong and the police find your stash of Nuclear warheads, have broken into your house, and the ghost busters are unavailable then you should probably franticly claw for help in the direction of these guys.
  • If you want to wear a funny wig and sit in a house full of commoners or lards then a political party membership may be for you. I recommend the Strangled Cats party.
  • When we finally figure out you're the user that keeps stealing our pocessions we're going to need to keep in touch with you (so we can get a clear shot at ya :P). So please feel free to leave comments on user's talk pages or our sparkling forum. You can talk to us directly on our IRC chatroom.
  • Now all that's left is the complimentary welcoming mint, and my bribe. £<insert number with more zeroes than Binary Code at the end of it here> please. Make all cheques payable to hell.

--Fluffalizer 05:16, 23 Farbleum 2023 (UTC)

If it really gets down to it, I'd say probably contact Cassie to copy it over. She should be an admin on both sites. I think Athyria is too, but she seems to be busy with other stuff now. Honestly, there might be other people too, but those are the only ones I know about. CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 18:29, 23 Farbleum 2023 (UTC)
Hyena spam....... Sounds familiar.................................. Ah also dont bother welcoming me, im too lazy to make an account rn, a bit busy. edit: oh you already know wwho iim refrencing nvm- An uncyclopedian 08:13, 25 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Yeah it does indeed sound familiar bottom text top text image text 14:04, 25 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)

hi[edit source]

i am real user. I can type like you can watch this aisdnijksfndamfiounefwcjowj see? anywho i saw you wanted a message on your talkpage literally anything and stuff so I thought to myself; '         ' and decided to hitchyuup, yo! 22:10, 8 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)

:thumbs_up_emoji: bottom text top text image text 07:55, 9 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
for realsies! !! 18:12, 11 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
i almost had a heart attack seeing that i got another message here. i’m not joking bottom text top text image text 18:50, 11 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
first time? :P 12:25, 12 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Absolutely not. It's happened before, just not here. bottom text top text image text 13:40, 12 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
So it's your first time! :> Yeah this place is really barren. It has been a very long time since someone so quick to reply has been around. 17:49, 12 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Sounds like i’m the first one to actually check my e-mails every once in a while then :3
Also i know this place is barren, i’ve been here for a little over a year already bottom text top text image text 18:26, 12 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
I should've known that. I'm user:BSOD & User:GoatLordServant. 01:42, 13 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
I already knew that. bottom text top text image text 04:42, 13 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
... 11:41, 13 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Yeah sorry for knowing about that earlier. I was reading whatever stuff was in the recent changes log a couple of weeks ago (i think?) and i saw your IP and was like "oh yeah, those two must be the same person" or something. And for some reason i remembered that. So uhhhh yeah bottom text top text image text 13:15, 13 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Also something relevant: I absorb information for whatever reason, so i’m probably gonna remember this for a long time. bottom text top text image text 13:25, 13 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Awww :P I would say its because 'aww you think im memorable :3' but awww you think i'm memorable :3 17:52, 13 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
(oh god what do i do now i wasn’t prepared for any of this) bottom text top text image text 18:47, 13 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
conversation is a good synonym with improv 11:48, 14 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
yeah probably bottom text top text image text 14:16, 14 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)

how's sevrything? how is life is are yu ok today? 17:49, 19 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)

No i’m not okay today. I have lost interest in doing just about anything bottom text top text image text 19:42, 19 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
nonononoonon.. it's going to be okay Bamsemums, if you need to text elsewhere and more often i'm on Xbox Live at MegaGoaty. If you need a voice or someone or anything find yourself desiring anything do reach out i'll be there 11:50, 25 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
i don't have xbox live though bottom text top text image text 14:03, 25 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
it has this social media integration that doesn't want pay or anything and it can be accessed on laptop pc phone whatever i think im pretty sure idk but my options are startlingly limited so thats all i could offer :( 18:21, 25 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Oh, ok, i’ll see if i can remember to download it or something bottom text top text image text 08:30, 26 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Okok thats goodtohear :> 11:45, 26 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)

Hmm...?[edit source]

  Bamsemums has attained 1 confuzzlement.   Note this, if you wish. Confuzzulations.
Confusing, perhaps, but don't be puzzled. It's just one piece.


--Fluffalizer 15:49, 15 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)

Wow, there’s a box on my screen! What does it do? bottom text top text image text 16:56, 15 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Not much, really. It's some kind of award I came up with long ago, not given often and not given for anything in particular, but handed to a few in recognition of something at least vaguely confusing or puzzling. It's not really clear what it's supposed to represent, or what people are supposed to do with it. It could be put on your userpage if you actually want that, or simply ignored. The number could increase if you're given it again. (So far, I think if averaging the total, roughly 1 every 5 years have been handed out.) --Fluffalizer 17:21, 15 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Oh, ok then. bottom text top text image text 18:42, 15 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
Actually, it's been roughly 2 every 7 years on average. Of course, a few days ago it was only half that... --Fluffalizer 22:12, 16 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)
This makes me feel both special and lonely at the same time bottom text top text image text 09:40, 17 Serpeniver 2023 (UTC)

Who is your girlfriend?[edit source]

I heard you are gay.

i don’t have a girlfriend right now bottom text top text image text 09:24, 2 Octodest 2023 (UTC)

Then how are you gay?

you don’t need a girlfriend to be gay sillyhead. not a boyfriend either bottom text top text image text 09:58, 2 Octodest 2023 (UTC)

I don’t get it. Please respond

I've gone ahead and banned this IP. In my assessment, it is a vandal. CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 16:04, 2 Octodest 2023 (UTC)

Thank you, but i think there is another one as well. bottom text top text image text 16:06, 2 Octodest 2023 (UTC)
They seem to be using quite a few IP addresses. I'll watch out for any of them being used for ban evasion, but just let me know if you see any that you're worried about. CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 18:06, 2 Octodest 2023 (UTC)
I'm not particularly worried about someone who thinks i need to have a girlfriend to qualify as gay, but yeah, i'll let you know if i see any. bottom text top text image text 20:01, 2 Octodest 2023 (UTC)
i wonder if i can be disqualified Goater (talk) 13:21, 10 Novelniver 2023 (UTC)
Do you go around asking people why they're gay? CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 14:32, 10 Novelniver 2023 (UTC)
no because i know why (it's just better) Goater (talk) 15:22, 10 Novelniver 2023 (UTC)
i can confirm that this is true :3 bottom text top text image text 16:23, 10 Novelniver 2023 (UTC)