Talk:The Cursed Wiki Article

     Whoops! Maybe you were looking for The Cursed Wiki?

See this page for a list of all the known cursed wiki pages.

The only known photograph of The Cursed Wiki Article. It will not curse the viewer due to the white area blocking out parts of the image.

Do NOT read this article. It is cursed. For real. No joke. There is an actual curse on the particular portion of the database occupied by this article. DO NOT CLICK HERE, SERIOUSLY, DON'T!!!, and most importantly never ever link directly to the Cursed Wiki Article anywhere else but here! Link to this URL instead:

http://illogicopedia.org/wiki/Talk:The_Cursed_Wiki_Article

This will help prevent other innocent people from being inadvertantly cursed. Then again, if you want them to be inadvertantly cursed, hey, whatever floats your boat.

If you have already read the Cursed Wiki Article it is too late for you. All you can do is try to keep others from reading it. If you have not read it then you still have a chance to escape, Click the small red 'X' in the top left corner of your screen. Do it now before The Cursed Wiki Article finds you!

About

Legend has it that an Uncyclopedia user tried to overthrow a corrupt admin. The attempt failed, and the user was cursed. They say The Cursed Wiki Article is a legend which no-one has looked upon and lived to tell. They're wrong of course, because if that was true then they couldn't have known about it to say it, now could they?

Another story is that a little girl was learning about wikis for an elementary school project. She clicked on a wiki at random and it just happened to be Uncyclopedia. She saw things there ... things hidden deep within the database ... things that scared her. She knew she would not live long, because the curse was upon her, so she clicked edit and put her message as a comment somewhere ... it may hold the key to unwravelling the mystery of how to be uncursed!

I AM A REAL GANGSTER YES

This just in: the message was ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. It was just those vandals again. A false alarm.

What to do if you're already cursed

If you've read the article, you're going to die within seven days. But, although the curse is permanant, there are a few things you can do to delay the curse's effects:

• Adding Template:CursedUser to your User Page can possibly delay your death for up to a month. To do this, add this code to your page:

 {{CursedUser}} 

• Editing the Cursed Wiki Article to make it look more scary could let you keep your soul, if not your life.
• Leaving comment(s) on this page can also help you stay alive longer.
• Spreading the curse to more wikis could even delay your death up to a year but will lose you your soul.

However, understand of course that once you've read The Cursed Wiki Article, that's it. You're going to die. It's just a question of when.

Unless, you can uncover the Cursed Article's mysteries in time.

Oh wait ... there aren't any. OK, never mind. You're going to die. ;)

The Double Whammy

Anyone who tries to delete this article is cursed by the most powerful curse availible for the Magic Finger: THE DOUBLE WHAMMY. Do not let this happen to you!

The Curse is Real!

Shortly after this article was created, (on Uncyclopedia no less) the entire Wikicities shut down for about 15 minutes, giving users the message:

Fatal error: Call to a member function on a non-object in
/home/wikicities/wiki/includes/ObjectCache.php on line 409

There is no question that this was a phenonenon caused by the curse taking effect.

Possible footage of curse transmitted on NBC.

Possible transmission of curse through TV and Video

Recent reports have claimed that the curse has spread to other media, including TV, Radio, Newspaper and Mimes. Be on your guard at ALL times.

Better still wear blacked out shades.

The digitally remastered curse is also available on DVD, Video and BetaMax, through Amazon.com. A Director's Cut is expected to be announced in the spring.

Curse of ONX

Appearantly, the Curse of ONX has been added to the page, quadrupling the effects.

WARNING! you have now been cursed with the

YE HAVE ONLY 7 DAYS MAXIMUM TO LIVE! doing the steps given before is your only chance out. ONX BE YOUR MASTER, AND BY COMING TO THIS PAGE, YOU ARE CLEARLY DEFYING HIM! FEEL THE WRATH OF ONX!

The Unnamed Curse

May 17 2014

WARNING! The unnamed curse has been added to the page.

You have only FOUR,I repeat FOUR,days MAXIMUM to live!

"Why four days?"'You might be thinking

It is because not only is the curse of ONX added to this page,the unnamed curse is here,too.But the TUC doesn't quadruple the effects,it lowers the number of days you can live.

What To Do When You Are Cursed

If you want to make the number of the days you can live higher,follow the rules below.

• Delete every comment saying that this is not real. (+ 5 days)

• Make this scarier by adding "The Curse Of ___"s (+10 days)

• Put Template:CursedUser on your page. (+5 days)

• Add a comment saying that you are cursed and that this curse is real.(+3 days)

• Color your walls purple.(+15 days)

• Buy purple flowers.(+15 days)

More Info About TUC

A girl named Alexa was the one who discovered TUC.After she was cursed,she died and her walls were painted PURPLE because it was her current favorite color.In her funeral,the flowers were purple.

Other Unrelated Curses

• Wikipedia:The Cursed Videotape (That's what we're making fun of LOL)
• The Cursed SWF File
• The Onion Ring Cursed Tape

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Testamonials

-i am monkeydude ... i was cursed by the cursed wiki article and now i have cancer and i'm going to die ... its a weird new form of cancer that kills u in one week ... DON'T READ THE ARTICLE !!!

-Bloody scratchpad article. Read this and gloat to glory you n00bs -after i read it..i felt a sudden urge to pee..and that was when i knew that i was dead.

my namez joker4. after i red teh article I got PWNd 4 like a n00b and now i'm ded. this is my ghost talking and you shouldn't read the article or else you will die you will die wyou dill die you will die you dilhlawjkerhnajbiz75x68cv you will die.

In Soviet Russia, article curses YOU!!

My name is sparticus and i have an anouncement to make. The artical doesnt say you will die in seven days it says you will be banned from wikipedia in seven days.

its not what the article SAYS ... ... ...

its what the article DOES .. .. ..

Wait. Is this seven business days or just seven days period? Gosh. What a crappy way to die.

I could tell you ... but then I'd have to kill you

I'm sorry. I'll never do it again... *dies because of the curse.* HEY! WHO COPYED AND POSTED THAT?

Im too scared

Im 11 yrold boy whos to scared to try but i do everything he does ^^^^

and the holy water.

Did you brush your teeth last night?

its really a real curse, yep yep yep

A number of people have been writing to me lately asking over and over again the same question: "Is the curse real?" "Is there a real curse?" "Is the real curse real?" "Is the curse really real?" "Is the real curse really really real?" "Is the cursed real cursed real cursed?" and a number of other variations that I cannot repeat because this is a family posting, and they involve curses.

The thing I really don't understand about the extreme puzzlement and curiosity that people seem to have about the question of whether the curse is real is that they've already been told, yet they still wonder. In fact, they probably already knew before they were told, because everybody knows what is in Room 101.

However, on the off-chance that someone doesn't know a real curse when they (hopefully don't) see it, the top of this very Talk page has the answer to this oft-repeated FAQ. Anyone who doesn't understand this obviously can't read. It says (and has always said) and I quote:

Do NOT read this article. It is cursed. For real. No joke.

Of course the curse is real. what ... do you think we'd go around making people think there was a real curse like a stupid Uncyclopedia Halloween prank if there wasn't a real curse that actually does kill people? Like, I mean, look at it this way:

This curse is real!

I have been cursed.I have been diagnosed with lung cancer.I have 5 days to live and I read this 2 days ago.

Arguments for the reality of the Curse

1. What possible motive would we (the contributors, listed when you click the history tab) have for lying? I mean, surely we have better things to do with our lives than edit prank articles designed to freak people out and make them think they're going to die.
2. The testimonials prove it: the curse is real.
3. Somebody flashed their laptop screen at my window, and it had the article on it, and I didn't see it but about a week later my goldfish died, along with two of the neighbours cats and all the houseplants on the block except for this one really scary one that tried to eat me the other day, but that's a totally different curse than the one we're talking about here.
4. If it's on the internet, then it must be true! Surely, living in the 21st century, you must know that by now! Grow up and get with the times, people! --Nerd42 18:54, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Teh Rulez - check this out, n00bz!!

i'm a dead person

the rules are:

• anyone who reads the article dies within seven days
• adding Template:CursedUser to your user page will delay your death for up to a month
• doing other things like editing the article to make it look more scary or deleting comments that say the curse is not real to help spread the curse can maybe give you extra days or whatever
• but anyone who reads the article dies within seven days

and um ... i know the rules contradict one another

i died exactly 31 days after reading the article but I also died seven days after reading teh article

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Guys, seriously is this for real, cause i'm starting to freak out, please please please please please please tell me. Or you can go to the starwars wiki wookiepedie and leave me a message.BobafettH23 21:51, 3 November 2006 (UTC)

Real?

Is this curse really real? Because if it is, I WANT TO KNOW!!! Post me on the admin userpage on this link. --Bender Bending Rodriguez 00:23, 22 November 2006 (UTC)

This is SERIOUSLY freaky

I'm superstitious, not a fool, but I am an idiot. When I saw the ONX writing, I felt my heart miss a beat or two. One person must close down this wiki to save (or kill) us all (either's good)!

Alright, I edit and am an Admin on the RuneScape wiki. I saw this template on some one's user page or something and followed a link, I forgot. I read the article, yes I did!, and nothing is happening! This is all fake, if all of this were real, then it must have something to do with karma! Seriously, don't try to freak out people in a public wiki. I am a nobody at this wiki so I wont sign, but this is all a joke!23:03, 17 February 2007 (UTC)

I found evidence adding to what I said above. Look at what he ways, its a joke page, look here. See! 02:37, 18 February 2007 (UTC)

You guys must be like, 12 or something. (Or, in case I am wrong, the only other possiblity is that you might be 14) --Nerd42 18:59, 8 Serpeniver 2007 (UTC)

Announcement

I, Nekocat, am here to make an announcement for the good of all users on this wiki. I have read the "cursed" article, but it has been several weeks since I did that. Want to know why I havent died? Because I used one of the methods for delaying the curse? No. I havent died because:

This is a fraud!!!!!

This article is a hoax! Nekocat (User talk:Nekocat) 12:10, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

its really sad when ghosts still think they're alive

why the attempt to delete it?

I don't get why someone created this stupid delete poll. It's nonsense, and it's a fun joke, and it belongs on Illogicopedia since it was originally one of our examples of the type of content that should belong here. I just forgot to put it up on the new site until now. --Nerd42 19:49, 4 Serpeniver 2007 (UTC)

It was a joke about the Double Whammy. I have a death wish. [{User:Asema/sig}}

I don't think anyone got it. --Nerd42 14:42, 5 Serpeniver 2007 (UTC)

This is NOT a hoax!!!

Aieeeeeeeee! We're all going to be banz0red!!1! --Some paranoid person

You are all in on this one!

You Frankenstein parroting puppet scum-on-tops who conspire against the whole world, you think you can kill anyone you want through sneak undetectable extermination! I, Mr Dec - your only hope for a future, know these facts are true! --Francis E. Dec, Esq.

Yon jabber

Yon jabber von koogun Elassint 10:03, 22 Octodest 2007 (UTC)

(translate: I am curios should i read the artical even though it says its cursed?)

Well look, I went in there like 2 months ago, we all know it's a hoax, I would be dead now if it was real. Oh yeah and I'm talking about my other account. Good article to freak peoples out though. :) --Ryan. 10:13, 22 Octodest 2007 (UTC)

DON"T READ THIS!!!!

PLEASE THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! DON'T READ! I am dead. I will come at midnight and kill you if you don't post... wait, aren't you dead already?

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DUM DUM SWWWEEEPPLLLE!! TIS TRUE I HAS A BROTEHRS WHO IIS WAtCHING THE Jhyy page and TGEY CAME ACROSS TTHE PAGE> WHILE REDING THE PAGE THEY WAS DONE READONG IT>! ITS TRUE TIS THROUWHG Iditnt EARD IT BCUZ MY BROTER WAS DEAD ON A FLOOR NECST TO THE KICHTEN.. > I was SCARED THERE WAS SSOO O much bloddy NEss ON HIS HIRT HIS SHIRT WAS TUKKED IN TO THE PANTS HE WAS WERARNING!!!!!! His PANTS HAD THREES BUKKLES!!! DONT HAVE TOO MANY POCKETS EETHER>@!!! YOU WILL DEID FROM THE CUrse@!!! ON THE PAGE THAT HE WAS on WITH my ORTHER BROTHER WHO HAD SHORTS ON a they Wure GREEN@!!!!!! LOOK OUT@!!!!! I AM A DEAD OPERSON TOO !@#$!$!!!!@! YOU ShooD BEE S CARED NOW CAYUSUE IO WAS CURSED SO WERES MY BOTHER ONE HASD A BLUE SHIRT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they and me died from

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!! I IS CURSED :/ DOING THE REDINFG OF THEAT THIN GAND IT SED ALL TEH BASE OAGT US@!!##############

Stuff

If you know who I am, then you'll know where I am: That is here..or there, depending where you are. I know curses, Because I have been cursed with the knowledge of curses. This curse is real, as it says on the top of this page. If you read the curse, you will be cursewith a horrible curse that curses you to the point of no (curses) return. So don't read the cursing curse if you don't want to be cursed! Trus the guy who knows that you know that he knows that you knows that you think that I think that he knows that she thinks that he knows that I know! It's a cursed article!

Old news

• IllogiNews:CIA_sends_photo_of_The_Cursed_Wiki_Article_to_Kim_Jong-Il_to_assassinate_him!?

Ordinary Comments

If you have anything even remotely serious or important to say that isn't a story of being cursed by this article, leave it here. --Nerd42 21:37, 26 Oct 2005 (UTC)

What a scary page

This all freaks me out.-- (Talk) (Contributions) 10:00, 15 Novelniver 2010 (UTC)

Solar Panels

This is my First Post -User:108.62.194.39

congratulations!-- (Talkies) (artikles) 00:26, 27 Ditzimber 2011 (UTC)

😀

I read the talk page only.

Madness

We used to have a marvellous sun, shone like anything, all over the place. Once we had days, nights... With suns and moons and all those little twinkly things. But those days are gone.

The talk page is actually scarier than the article

The talk page says that you will die if you read the article. But the article says that you will be banned from Illogicopedia. And it's a lot shorter. --Firebird (talk) 00:50, 1 Serpeniver 2022 (UTC)