Fourth of July
The Fourth of July or American Independence Day is a day celebrating The United States of America's independence from Great Britain. This day is celebrated through many traditional events that all relate to the events involved with or leading up to the struggle for independence from British overlords.
Blowing Up Fireworks[edit | edit source]
Now, at the time of The American Revolution, fireworks were only prominent in China, far away from America, but c'mon! Blowing stuff up! WOO-HOO!
I mean there were guns and explosions in the Revolution, so that kind of makes sense! WOO-HOO!
AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Barbequing[edit | edit source]
Another tradition prominent on the Fourth of July is barbequing meats and other meats. Now, people did eat meats at the time of the Revolution, so there is that. Sure, they didn't make this meat with Kingsford Charcoal or Rhino Propane, but c'mon! It's somewhat related.
More importantly, grilled meat is delicious so...
AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Drinking Beer[edit | edit source]
Well, this is a tradition for every American holiday.
Honoring dead veterans? DRINK SOME BEER!
Honoring the nation's labor? DRINK SOME BEER!
Honor Mexican-American heritage regardless of if you have any? DRINK A LOT OF CERVEZA!!!
Americans love drinking beer, but can you fault them for that? Even a lot of the Founding Fathers of the great nation were basically raging alcoholics.
AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
Conclusion[edit | edit source]
So whether you're at a big Fourth of July party at a park or in your backyard, remember, you have no obligation to remember the point of the holiday, and if you hold people to that standard, you'll just look like a douche, like when people complain about the world losing the true meaning of Christmas, except you won't even have God on your side.
In actual conclusion[edit | edit source]
AMERICA FUCK YEAH!