The American Revolution
| This article is Illogical enough to have made it onto the front page. View more featured articles |
|
The American Revolution occured when the entire continent of America spun around, finally settling where it is today. People in America the time reported dizziness, nausea, and vomiting as a result. Various pots were knocked over, a gymnast fell off the balance beam resulting in a low score, and several people died from accidents. It was a sad day for all of America.
Onlookers were shocked by the incident. One man even said, "I was flabbergasted. Everything was spinning around me... it was like I was in... something that spins around or something!". Someone stepped on the Shot Glass Heard Round the World and the person under it protested, "Don't tread on me!"
Scientists have studied fully this occurence. They released a statement saying, "We do not know much about the American Revolution. All we can tell you is that we are studying the event to the fullest extent. What we have concluded is that America made one complete revolution of 360º." Many scientists worry that "This might happen again". Other groups bring attention to the gay French Revolution where the same thing happened, but France only rotated 180º, resulting in its odd positioning compared to the other countries.
An ambassador for the country of Iran is quoted as saying, "We are not trying to have a revolution due to the threat of the lives of people in our nation. I don't want to get dizzy, either."
Some people, on the other hand, didn't notice a thing. "Earth is revolving at a speed of ten thousand miles per hour right now, and we don't feel that. What makes you think I'd feel this stupid revolution?"
