Then

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Those were the days, when having a beer with a raccoon wasn't considered too conservative. Do this today, and you risk being labeled as a member of the Tea Party.

For purposes of keeping this article work-friendly, the terms "rauwe bipsgaten" or "retegoed" [1] will neither be used nor defined in the contents of this article

Anything that's already happened, happened then. Anything that's going to happen cannot happen then, nor can what's happening now. [2] Especially never to have happen then is that which has not, is not, nor cannot possibly happen, happen.

Looking up from our labors, we notice sirens in the distance, a tube of urn polish on the television screen... and cats. Many, many, many cats. Then we didn't have a cat at all, or only one, or only two or three. That was then. Now, though, we have more than that, more than we had then.

The most important thing about then is that everything physics is based on what happened then. Without then, there would be no now or later. In other words, then is the most important thing in the universe, along with peanut butter and quarks.

Religions are about then that didn't happen, then or ever. Well, some of it did, but other parts didn't. Back then, they didn't keep the same sort of records we have now. If what happened then is to be relied on, such that existence and all that comes with it is to blossom and fester, and facts are secondary or even tertiary [3], then then was then, this is now and later, we'll have a nice, quiet drink somewhere.

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  1. The third leading cause of retegoed amnesia
  2. The Church of What's Happening Now was the first to codify time according to Biblical interpretations, made under the influence of polyurethane floor sealer.
  3. I just love saying and writing the word tertiary.

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