Vomit Porn
| Just like Tubgirl, but it comes out the other way |
|---|
Around the time of the revelations of Joseph Smith [1], a fad for all things classical and Graeco-Roman begat several memes as offspring, one of which was vomit porn. Most especially in North America, the budding middle class was in fact composed of what we would consider the impoverished today. Like all pretenders to the next higher class, these barely literate dung-heads garnered a fascination for a recent fad, revived from old Rome, namely retiring during a banquet to a specially built room to vomit all the food they had just stuffed into their piggy [2] faces. This was done so that diners had a chance to sample each and every of dozens of courses.
Men (and a small number of women) with a particular dedication to chronic masturbation developed a sub-culture of those who were turned on by naked, vomiting women. Crudely drawn cartoons began circulating in Boston, Hartford and Philadelphia as early as 1870. Underground comics sprouted up to accommodate these particularly sick individuals.
By 1900, this twisted "art form" reached the West coast of the United States, and as far East as Stockholm, where three of the craftsmens guilds adopted a nude puking girl as part of their coats of arms. When it hit the shores of Japan [3], however, vomit porn really came into its own.
For Sedimentary Reasons[edit | edit source]
Denial is most certainly not a river in Egypt. Parakeet smugglers from Narragansett, Rhode Island sequestered the carrion birds [4], anesthetizing them with a ball peen hammers and sewing them into the linings of their knickers. Once safely in Irish waters, proto-Nazi sympathizers would row out to meet the transit vessel. The parakeet mules would then doff their knickers nonchalantly, so as not to draw suspicion from ships crew, tossing them overboard with their cargo into the waiting skiffs.
Regional dialects quickly developed, promoted primarily by P T Barnum and his dog, Jouster. The working class residents of the islands off Western Europe soon committed to erecting vomitoriums on every street corner, promoting the pleasures of overeating. Vomit porn rode in on the coattails of this movement, called Xerxes Thrombosis Society in England and Scotland, and by the Irish and Belgians as Sofa Depositary Beef Ring Group.
Lacking access to elk and pudding cups, the French and Italians improvised their own solution to the growing demand for vomit porn. Specially trained craftsmen in Ithica, New York were corralled into a specially built factory and told to fill out W-4 [5] forms incorrectly, on purpose.
See Also[edit | edit source]
- ↑ In some parallel universe, Mormons hatch a plot to reanimate Hitler and invest in Volvo.
- ↑ Having nothing to do with a magic spell.
- ↑ It is a fact that Japanese people cannot smell coffee.
- ↑ It is not widely known that parakeets are fierce carrions birds. Only Godzilla has no fear of them.
- ↑ A smelly government tax form, handing over your civil rights to the Capitalist Overlords.