Cradle of Filth

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Cradle of Filth is a traveling group of gypsies, who specialize in peddling fursuits, Mighty Putty, and Firefox add-ons.

They also have a garage band which plays thrash metal covers of children's songs.

This appears to appeal to some Goths, oddly enough.

Meet the Arse Pirates[edit | edit source]

A list of the wackos that make-up the wagon of soap-free, lycan, hobos, with descriptions of each.

Dani Fail[edit | edit source]

The vocalist, caravan-driver, and Samuel L. Jackson impersonator of the group. He graduated online with a masters' degree in literature. He does most of the sewing on the fursuits and until just recently was a woman. He is also former Czar of Cydonia. He enjoys listening to emo music, and dressing up as Hard Gay.

Joseph Stalin III[edit | edit source]

A cake-loving, pony fetishest hailing from Sparta. He is the second-born son of the Virgin Mary. His talents include playing bass poorly, creating and peddling snake oil, and having sexual relations with Swedish politicians. His favorite pastimes include drawing Pokemon smut, lynching African Americans, and making YouTube Poops.

Cathulu Jr.[edit | edit source]

Son of the infamous sex god that is Cathulu. Not much is known about him, other than the fact that he is a half-koopa with two penises and a fondness for vampire pirates. He doesn't do much, except play every instrument in the band other than bass.

Stitch[edit | edit source]

A.K.A. 626, Stitch is an escaped alien mental patient, created by a mad scientist to make rainbows appear out of thin air to destroy the world. Stitch does absolutely nothing, except get raped by the others all day and look adorable to reel in customers who are quickly infected with the Lycan disease.

Notable Quotes[edit | edit source]

"Can't sleep. English clowns will rape me."

"The Mormons are always right."


"I swear his possesions just got up and floated into the back of our caravan, and sold themselves for cash."

"I'm doing Sudoku in space."

"180,503 is the 16,384th prime number."

See Also[edit | edit source]