Land of No Return
|Land of No Return|
|Official Name||The Land of No Return|
|Current Monarch||Obesius the Cat|
|Land Area||x+7 Square kilometres (x-7 Square miles)|
|Official languages||The Land of No Return!|
|Demographic Composition||100% People who have not Returned|
|Natural Resources||Everything (Nothing leaves this land, after all)|
The Land of No Return was brought forth from the Bowels of Bob the Builder when he slipped on a rattlesnake, fell, and broke his back. A vast volcano formed atop this land, erupting for three eternities before collapsing into an antelope of monstrous proportions. This antelope quickly became diseased with septicemia and fell to the red Earth, exhausted. Its saliva became a pool of highly acidic water, from which there sprang an elephant, the first of the season. This elephant shed its skin over thirty lifetimes until it became a human, the very first inhabitant of the mystical Land of No Return.
This man founded the nation called the Land of No Return. He decreed that no man would ever "leave or otherwise exit the Land of No Return," a law that was somewhat needless, as it was already a mathematical certainty that no one could ever leave the Land of No Return.
History[edit | edit source]
Over time, more than a kajillion people got stuck on the Land of No Return after coming there with every intention of leaving and realized that they could not do so. The population grew exponentially as a consequence. During the French Revolution, Napoleon sent an expedition of six-twenty and eleven ships to invade the Land of No Return, only to find that none of them ever returned.
The Land of No Return in Modern Times[edit | edit source]
Today, the Land of No Return is still there, but no one knows what happens on it because everyone who goes there to find out never returns.
Living Conditions[edit | edit source]
No one knows what the living conditions are like in the Land of No Return because everyone who went there to find out never returned.