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*ring* *ring* ... you have reached the tearaway turd coldline, please hold...

... sound of Harry Potter with his statue ...


Press 1 for the sound of Scouse people attempting to belong.

Press 2 if you... just do it for fun, it's a nice button and all.

Press 3 to find out the truth about volcanoes.


You have pressed 3:

"A volcano is a big rock type mountain thingy that spews hot red stuff. This is what a volcano word apear to be to a lesser strategereist-aroo but under the veil of its cloak of disguised Covert hidden obviousness it is actually a branch of Santa's workshop. To get into a "volcano" just go to the lava bit and dive in then swim to the bottom where your incinerated corpse or whats left of it fine figure will be deposited in the waiting room.

Press 4 for see also

You have also pressed 4 you greedy unicorn

"See also: