IllogiGames:Big Brrother 2012/The Hoose

Welcome to the Big Brother 2012 Hoose! This is where Housemates will be living until their inevitable eviction - and where other users can watch and laugh (to themselves) at the stupidity of the Contestants - if that's your idea of fun. Unless you're a Housemate, you cannot post on this page - but you can comment/complain/find offence at the goings on in the hoose Here.

Big Brrother 2012 has finished, and the Hoose is now closed.

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Ding dong

I have arrived. WHERE'S MY DINNER? Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 13:17, 1 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Welcome Island Monkey. Make yourself at home. Your dinner is cold eel soup and will be delivered in the post in the next hour. Also, due to unforseen circumstances, the shower is out of bounds as there seems to be potatoes growing inside it. Hmm. - BIG BROTHER.

I ordered Tofu. NOW GIMME MY EFFIN DINNER! Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 14:04, 1 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Island Monkey, I regret to inform you that the house is fresh out of tofu. Some Keebler elves came overnight and consumed it, and then proceeded to get high off Oust air freshener spray. However, I do have this medium-well steak you can eat, which is much tastier than tofu (unless you're veg(itari)an, of course).--Colonel Sanders 15:57, 1 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

GIMME MY TOFU, OR I'LL THROW A CHAIR TOWARDS YOU! Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 21:15, 1 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Is it made out of bubble gum?--Colonel Sanders 21:26, 1 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

No it's made out of solid pine wood. Very solid wood. Very very solid wood. Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 21:32, 1 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Sounds delectable! May I put barbecue sauce on it?--Colonel Sanders 21:47, 1 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

It's not my table, so don't ask me. Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 10:10, 2 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

What's the first challenge?

This "Big Brothel" may actually give our wiki some popularity! ~Runner-Up 20:04, 01/01/2012

Watch the paint chip off the walls of the Hoose.--Colonel Sanders 20:35, 1 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

I'll announce the first challenge in the next couple of days. In the meantime, answer this crappy riddle; Why is a flower similar to the letter 'A'? - BIG BROTHER.

@Big Brother It is always followed by a B (Bee). ~Runner-Up 23:17, 01/01/2012

Correct! As a reward, here's a frozen jaffa cake. BIG BROTHER.

We're out of orange juice

So you gonna have to suck my dick for vitamin C or die. Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 18:28, 2 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

The New World Order, AKA TNWO, NWO, ZOG, Satan's Kingdom, Hell, is a worldwide secret conspiracy of liberals who control nearly everything that happens in the world. It especially wants to utterly mock, ridicule, and desecrate the body of Christ, after it rapes and masturbates it. This would be the worse of all sins, which will please Satan greatly but will cause great pain and despair for God, who might be rendered impotent because of it. This will please liberals greatly.--Colonel Sanders 21:34, 3 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

I agree. Shredded duck? Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 17:31, 4 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Oh yes. YESSSSSSSSS!--Colonel Sanders 21:11, 5 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

So, uh...

What's with all the really large signatures on this page? ~ 23:23, 5 Jeremy 2012

Wait, am I even supposed to be here? What's going on? Who are all you people? EH? ~ 23:26, 5 Jeremy 2012

Welcome! Do not be afraid - we've removed that guy with the knives. He's been brutally murdered taken care of. On the subject of big signatures, I kinda use mine as a mark of authority (I'm in charge yo')- BIG BROTHER.

Then why is it one of the smaller ones? And what if I wanted those knives? ~ 02:04, 6 Jeremy 2012

Stop asking questions. Though I must ask something: am I your pet cat? Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 17:33, 6 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Rick Parry.--Colonel Sanders 18:00, 6 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Is that related to a paring knife? ~ 19:04, 6 Jeremy 2012

Naturally. Are you related to economic equilibrium?--Colonel Sanders 22:17, 6 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Are we just going to sit around here all day?

C'mon! Where's our first challenge? ~Runner-Up 14:56, 01/10/2012

I'm going mad here! Who are you? Are you Rick Astley? Is my name Dave? BLACKBERRY? BLACKBERRY? Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 15:32, 10 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

My name's Frederick (for tax purposes).--Colonel Sanders 18:01, 10 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

The First Challenge

You each must write a short story (it can literally be just a few lines) about a cat that is under the illusion it is in fact a dog. Write the article in your own userspaces, and submit the link here before the Friday eviction. Big Brrother will decide which article is the best, and the winner gains a vote to save! - BIG BROTHER.

Done. ~Runner-Up 23:40, 01/10/2012

What happens if we forget? ~ 03:35, 11 Jeremy 2012

Then you will most likely be voted out. And also here is my article. Sincerely, islandmonkey - go speak 16:58, 12 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Okay. ~ 11:20, 13 Jeremy 2012

My random grunt.--Colonel Sanders 11:57, 13 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

It was a tough decision, but Dan The Hedgehog won this task (and got a vote that saved him from eviction). In all, all three were great, and the fact that most of the housemates did it is pleasing in itself. Well done. - BIG BROTHER.

Eviction Number 1

Could someone who uses flash be a dear and tell me what just happened? ~ 00:56, 14 Jeremy 2012

Island Monkey and Another n00b got the boot, and someone won the doggycat thingy.--Colonel Sanders 01:33, 14 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Neat! All that in a... video thing? This newfangled technology is something else. ~ 17:50, 14 Jeremy 2012

Oh yes. Flash and Microsoft do have their perks...--Colonel Sanders 19:06, 14 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Let's not forget google, whom kindly allowed the video to be hosted on their servers. - BIG BROTHER.

I don't know about Island Monkey, but just in my opinion, Another_n00b had it coming, seeing as how he hasn't signed on since last year. ~Runner-Up 22:09, 01/14/2012

Wait, did microsoft buy the rights to flash or something? ~ 03:39, 15 Jeremy 2012

Microsoft owns everything. Everything but Linux. And Boston Creme Rolls.--Colonel Sanders 17:10, 17 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

I own your dog. ~ 18:37, 17 Jeremy 2012

I'm getting bored here

Where the °°°°ing second challenge? ~Runner-Up 22:40, 01/20/2012

Hello? Is there anybody out there? ~Runner-Up 19:40, 01/21/2012

Tacko saladd???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????--Colonel Sanders 21:58, 21 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

The Second Challenge

With next saturday's final rapidly approaching, and 2012 being the year of the U.S. presidental elections, Big Brrother would like you to persuade him why you should become the president of the house. Write the article in your own userspaces, and submit the link here before the Friday pre-final eviction. The the user with the best article will have the option to become the other half of Big Brrother for when it returns in July. - BIG BROTHER's slave,--Ben ^Blade 21:10, 21 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

First of all, who the heck are you? Benedict Blade? Where's BIG BROTHER? He's in charge around here!

Secondly, done. Tell that to Big Brother. ~Runner-Up 16:09, 01/22/2012

I'm a bum and I don't have a userspace. This, however, alos makes me more qualified to actually relate to the plebes than anyone else here. *looks down on everyone* ~ 05:25, 23 Jeremy 2012

You'd better watch it, Athy. And no, that's not a threat. I'm just saying that, this time, I won't have an extra vote to save you. ~Runner-Up 22:48, 01/24/2012

Could you at least get me out of this tree? ~ 02:42, 25 Jeremy 2012

Sure! I don't have a rope, though. Instead I'll call Batman. ~Runner-Up 23:12, 01/25/2012

Lurg.--Colonel Sanders 18:03, 26 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your entries to this task. I will announce the winner in tomorrow's final! - BIG BROTHER.

AHA!

So I hear it's illegal to be in the house if you are not playing? I just snuck in through the airducts! Stop me and my pet ocelot! I dare you! CATCH ME IF YOU CAN! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA. *rides ocelot like horse and starts knocking over several vases* *ocelot makes feces on Athyria* --|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 01:28, 27 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

@Fonchezzz *tries to scare you by unzipping my pants and publicly masturbating* ~Runner-Up 01:51, 01/27/2012

*surreptitiously stuffs the ocelot into an Athyria suit, dons an ocelot suit, and promptly gets stuck in a tree* ~ 03:43, 27 Jeremy 2012

I am not afraid *takes of trousers* Two can play at that game. Now excuse me as me and my... pet Athyria cause more mayhem! *Athyria clad ocelot sets fire to coffee table and shouts incoherently in Shakespearean.*--|Fonchezzz| Quacking| 10:29, 27 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Whuh? Where's the light?--Colonel Sanders 12:20, 27 Jeremy 2012 (UTC)

Hey, BIG BRO, wherever you are, we need some help in getting rid of Fonchezzz! He's masturbating and knocking over vases with his ocelot! ~Runner-Up 17:05, 01/28/2012

Semi-Final Eviction

Colonel Sanders has been evicted in the Semi-Final. VOTE NOW for either Dan the Hedgehog or Athyria to win Big Brrother 2012 - you cannot vote for yourself. - BIG BROTHER.

He should win, but I think I'm too lazy to vote. Uh. ~ 19:31, 28 Jeremy 2012

THE WINNER OF BIG BRROTHER 2012 IS...

That's all, folks! The Illogicopedian public has spoken, and the time has come for you to clear off... even that weird hobo who decided to squat in the house. Thank you to all users for taking part, it's been fun keeping you as my hostages. You are all now free to leave the Big Brrother hoose! - BIG BROTHER.