Clarinet

Do not put clarinet near faces for it will puncture your hippocampus. Do not put clarinet near feces as it will reduce the vibrational coefficient of reeds below Vandoren 3-1/2. This of course won't matter if you use Rico. Although everybody knows that you are not a cool kid if you use Rico. You gotta breathe the French air to be cool. The effects on Mitchell Lurie are currently unknown, as nobody uses them.

Bears cannot use the clarinet but dogs have employed it to bolster their failing economy.

Musical instruments

	Brass	Sousaphone (Electric Air) • Tuba
	Keyboards	Piano (-phone)
	Percussion	Bongos • Drums • Triangle (Electric)
	Strings	Banjos • Guitar (Grandpa's; Type-)
	Woodwinds	Clarinet • Flute • Harmonicas (Self-)
	Miscellaneous	Banana (Flying microtonal) • Feghaly