Electric triangle
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The electric triangle is a rock instrument, famously used by Jimi Hendrix. The electric triangle was poorly invented by Jack White in 1987, shortly before choking on a hunk of cheddar.
History[edit | edit source]
This is all a lie but anyway...Jack White invented the electric triangle while on ESSPRESSOCHOC. The first electric trangle was made out of a solid bar of chromizone hyboxicarbonate, which can usually be found inside a hore. Because it was invented while on ESSPRESSOCHOC, the first electric triangle was in the shape of a bum. Jack White was ugly and badly criticized because of the instrument, which regularly shocked players who enjoyed performing in the bathtub and toilet, also it distracted the horses.
According to some trianglians (followers of the Cult of the Triangle), the electric triangle was invented when tranglian Pancho Urchsagburg was electrocuted by stepping in a sink full of water and touching a waffle iron. While in recovery following the accident, Pancho claimed to have a vision about the greatest rock instrument of all time that had yet to be created. This was known as the electric triangle. There have been many variations of the electric triangle. The most common variations are the schmorgashborgen triangle, the triangle of Czechoslovakia, and the potatoesnutellatriangle. The schmorgashborgen triangle is a variation in which an alternator from a car sends its electricity generated directly to the triangle, shocking the user and allowing them to achieve dopelhapfer (direct musical revelation from Vladmir Putin). The triangle of Czechoslovakia is an electric triangle made from strontium, and is whacked with a plutonium rod. The potatoesnutellatriangle is a variation that is in the form of a right triangle, allowing for more tone potatosctacity.
A number of paintings by M.C. Escher depicted George W. Bush playing the electric triangle in a bathtub, foreshadowing his untimely fate by electrocution.
How to Play an Electric Triangle[edit | edit source]
- Plug in the red wire.
- Whack the triangle with the stick thing.
- Write a quick suicide note.
- Jump into the bathtub with toaster plugged in.
The modern electric triangle[edit | edit source]
Despite a comeback in the mid-1990s, most musicians had to sell their electric triangles for booze money. Kurt Cobain used the electric triangle on many Nirvana songs. It is rumored that he was composing an opera for the instrument before being abruptly murdered by wolf.
