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On the topic of animals, there is a point to be made here, and that is: an eel is far less funny than any run-of-the-mill fetid lemur. You must agree.

Notwithstanding of course[edit | edit source]

The intoxicated rabbit happily prechews rancid hog entrails prior to daily exercise.

...that the slack-jawed manatees are noticeably less concentric than the sternly diabolic goldfish. There is, after all, some weight differential. There is no assignment of blame here; but perhaps the assignment of a few Jenny Craig gift certificates is in order. Anonymously of course.

Whistling merrily along: who can blame those pesky little doves for snugly pouting northward of The Constant Worm? Not I, surely.

But to turn our once minds again (this time a quarter turn clockwise): the rhinoceros is, among other things, far less heroic than perverse -- though context is important here, naturally. Do judge for yourself. Watch as they tenderly lick the hideous stack of flapjacks, placed surreptitiously by who only knows.

On Titmice & Squirrels[edit | edit source]

Now, feast thine eyes upon the bearish titmouse, felicitously assisted in song by the dashing hippopotamus! And oh my -- the squirrels above! Tumbling lazily through the clouds, inhaling puffs of whitish gas as the roosters yearn from afar, rapt in delicate worship. ...Deliciously unaware; ripe to be joyously slit lengthwise by a broad hatchet.

Hello! If you're just joining us, the subject of discourse today is animals.

My thirst proceeds; the cheek suffers. The narrative rattles on.

On Salmon & Such[edit | edit source]

Unlisted ingredient #4 in generic brand slimy boneless chicken patties.

Salmon are much more incorrigible than the regretful aardvark. Flawed by design; propagated by lust. Wholehearted in their earnest pursuit of little else than everything, one must surely wonder what they wonder about during idle moments of wonder.

And Furthermore[edit | edit source]

Objectified unicorns querulously quiver like an easy armadillo, while the weak-minded housefly sternly gnashes at vindictive lorikeets without warning, cause, or even provocation. Its temper sears hotly over top of the ever-persistent dilemma: greasy wombat stew or squishy pimento loaf?

Only uncertainty replies.

Consider also: is one dolphin far more massive than a dozen adverse salamanders?

Conversely -- but also perhaps on a completely unrelated note -- are robins less lusty than the undulating octopus?
Let us pause to reflect upon this; and the things unsaid.
Ouch! My self has become entangled within myself. Pardon.

In Conclusion[edit | edit source]

I think, we now, understand, each other, perfectly.

I, like, c,o,m,m,a,s,.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,