Cruft

On the topic of animals, there is a point to be made here, and that is: an eel is far less funny than any run-of-the-mill fetid lemur. You must agree.

Notwithstanding of course

The intoxicated rabbit happily prechews rancid hog entrails prior to daily exercise.

...that the slack-jawed manatees are noticeably less concentric than the sternly diabolic goldfish. There is, after all, some weight differential. There is no assignment of blame here; but perhaps the assignment of a few Jenny Craig gift certificates is in order. Anonymously of course.

Whistling merrily along: who can blame those pesky little doves for snugly pouting northward of The Constant Worm? Not I, surely.

But to turn our once minds again (this time a quarter turn clockwise): the rhinoceros is, among other things, far less heroic than perverse -- though context is important here, naturally. Do judge for yourself. Watch as they tenderly lick the hideous stack of flapjacks, placed surreptitiously by who only knows.

On Titmice & Squirrels

Now, feast thine eyes upon the bearish titmouse, felicitously assisted in song by the dashing hippopotamus! And oh my -- the squirrels above! Tumbling lazily through the clouds, inhaling puffs of whitish gas as the roosters yearn from afar, rapt in delicate worship. ...Deliciously unaware; ripe to be joyously slit lengthwise by a broad hatchet.

Hello! If you're just joining us, the subject of discourse today is animals.

My thirst proceeds; the cheek suffers. The narrative rattles on.

On Salmon & Such

Unlisted ingredient #4 in generic brand slimy boneless chicken patties.

Salmon are much more incorrigible than the regretful aardvark. Flawed by design; propagated by lust. Wholehearted in their earnest pursuit of little else than everything, one must surely wonder what they wonder about during idle moments of wonder.

And Furthermore

Objectified unicorns querulously quiver like an easy armadillo, while the weak-minded housefly sternly gnashes at vindictive lorikeets without warning, cause, or even provocation. Its temper sears hotly over top of the ever-persistent dilemma: greasy wombat stew or squishy pimento loaf?

Only uncertainty replies.

Consider also: is one dolphin far more massive than a dozen adverse salamanders?

Conversely -- but also perhaps on a completely unrelated note -- are robins less lusty than the undulating octopus?

Let us pause to reflect upon this; and the things unsaid.

Ouch! My self has become entangled within myself. Pardon.

In Conclusion

I think, we now, understand, each other, perfectly.

I, like, c,o,m,m,a,s,.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,