The Force

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The Force is something that makes others do things and stuff float at our command. It was discovered by George Lucas and revealed in his six-part documentary Star Wars. Cool people like Harrison Ford cannot use it, but one-hit-wonder stars such as Mark Hamill are quite adept at it.

May The Force be with you.

The Force consists of Light and Dark sides of a spectrum, or, in computing terms, 255-bit values of RGB locked together. Light is like a democracy, where you have free will, the ability to choose what you like, and... wait, it's not much like a democracy at all now, is it? Dark is like a police state that many people consider awesome. Extremely awesome. In cultural labelling, the Jedi label constitutes being Dark, while the Sith are thought of as being Light. This is a misleading label, mostly because it is a comparative labelling, rather than absolute. It is easier to illustrate with an example. Comparing the skin shades of Emperor Palpatine, and Luke Skywalker, it is clear that Palpatine is "Lighter" than the darker-skinned Luke. This, however, is still hotly debated among greasy-haired nerds.

The Jedi control The Force by blocking out all emotion, short of a tingling hand tremor, rendering the weakest KO'd, while the Sith let their passions rule them until they fall down a shaft of some sort. James Earl Jones is a good example of the latter, or at least his voice. If it had a shaft. Well... at least it's got passion.

Darksiders are known to do door-to-door visits in suburban neighbourhoods to try to convince people to convert to the Dark side, a practice they picked up from Jehovah's Witnesses. If they choose not to convert, they use the Dark side to throw squirrels through their front doors.

However, not everyone is force sensitive. These people are subjected to provoking by 30-year-olds who still live with their mothers. This is called a Force Paradox.

The earliest recording of The Force is when Moses crossed the Delaware. Jesus Christ is considered to be the first one to gain complete control over it.

The amount of Force in every person can be measured by taking a small blood sample (5 litres) and watching if the person survives the test. If he dies, he has not The Force, he has anaemia. Blood samples can also be used to measure the amount of Clythorideans.

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