BIZARRO WORLD is the name of a planet in the outer reaches of the galaxy. Despite its title, which implies that it is bizarre, it is actually quite a normal planet. IT is populated completely by white middle-class mailmen and insurance salesmen. We interviewed one for this article. Then we laughed at him when his back was turned. This is the interview.
What's it like to live on bizarro-world?
It's dull. It's mundane. It's mediocre. Nothing ever happens here at all. As an insurance salesman, I fit in perfectly.
Is it frustrating to live on a perfectly normal planet with a name that implies that it might be eccentric or strange in some way?
Oh, hell yes. You have no idea how many tourists show up hoping to see bizarre things, only to discover that Bizarro World is the most boring place in the galaxy, except maybe parts of New Hampshire.
Have you ever considered changing the name of your planet to "Normal Planet" or something a bit more truthful?
We consider it all the time. But as insurance salesmen, we have absolutely no force of will whatsoever, so it never actually ends up happening.
So, tell me about your life.
Certainly. Every morning I wake up and eat shredded wheat. My wife and I discuss the day's weather, which is always partly cloudy. Then, I--
MY GOD, SHUT UP! Holy crap. That was boring. I felt like I was going to pass out.
It generally has that effect on people. You get used to it after the first ten years though.
Bizarro world: a planet suffering from a severe case of irony.
You can send the occupants of the planet a donation if you want, but they'll only spend it on ties and other such boring things.
Let this be a lesson for us all.
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