Uncyclopedia/Rewrite

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Uncyclopedia, otherwise known as the "content-free encyclopedia,[1]", is a wiki of truth founded in 1456[2] by Oscar Wilde to defeat fact-filled Wikipedia[3] with a new truthical way of grading articles called satir.[4] As the pioneers of satir, Uncyclopedia created the new wiki of where articles can be deleted not because they're not written by a group of nerds and professors, but because they have no hum0r[5], another Uncyc invention spelled by those Brits as bangers and mash.
The Uncyclopedia logo. Forget about that hollow potato myth.

Though Uncyclopedia recieves a vast array of content each day, most of it is about nonsensical crap, fact, and stuff about that, like, bimbo, in, my, like, science class, OH MAH GAWD! This is not satir, so it is deleted or placed somewhere else[6]. Some places have also taken crap from Uncyc.[7]

Wilde has created a revolution. He made satir the key ideal of writing articles. And though thousands of kittens[8] have been huffed, it was absolutely worth it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA![9] Let's learn about Uncyc![10] Jumponit![11]

Origins[edit | edit source]

Uncyclopedia started as a wiki seed planted on an independent farm run by Mr. Wilde, until the executives at Fisher Price[12] decided to take it off their hands. Thus, Wilde was worshipped as God by those imbeciles who decided to edit the site with their crap.

“Those who think they can fabricate quotes and attribute them to me must be complete losers.”

[13]

“Yes, Oscar, but we at Uncyclopedia owe you it as you founded our project. We will uphold satir as you would do.”

[14]

But seriously, where did Uncyclopedia come from?[15] The overly serious ones at Wikipedia have this to say.

"Uncyclopedia was launched on January 5, 2005[16][citation needed], by Jonathan Huang, known online as "Chronarion", and a pseudonymous partner called "Stillwaters".[citation needed] Though it started as an independent project[17], Uncyclopedia quickly outgrew its original webhost[18][citation needed], leading Huang to search for a new host. On May 26, 2005, Angela Beesley[19] , Vice President of Wikia, Inc., announced that Wikia would host Uncyclopedia. On July 10, 2006, Huang transferred ownership[citation needed] of the Uncyclopedia.org domain name to Wikia[citation needed]. The majority of Uncyclopedia-related projects in other languages remain hosted under their own localised names, either as fully independent[citation needed] domains or as subdomains of Wikia.com.[20][citation needed]

Approximately half of the Uncyclopedia collection is hosted by Wikia[21];[citation needed] there are also six[citation needed] dedicated non-Wikia servers which host "Uncyclopedia Babel" project content in various languages.[citation needed] To coordinate these projects (collectively, the "Uncyclomedia Babble Project")[citation needed] an Un-Meta wiki[22] was created in 2006.[citation needed]

The site has caused controversy[citation needed] due to its articles on towns and places and its similarity to Wikipedia[citation needed], which led to a warning being issued by the Malaysian Internal Security Ministry[citation needed]."

Enough with stealing Wikipedia's cheeze[23], and more on telling you about that Wilde-worshipping bandwagon.

Uncyclopedia is a wiki containing no content. Thus, it is content-free, right?[24] WRONG! They do have "content". Per se, it would not be rational as content in any sane person's eyes, but by the Merium-Webstah definition "Stuff that says things", Uncyclopedia is NOT content-free. Every now and then, a sane person tries to edit Uncyclopedia, but they are dismissed as a Jimbo Wales sockpuppet and shipped to Gitmo. So, does this lengthy lecture answer the question "Where did Uncyc Come From"? I would think so.

MOAR QUOTES ON TEH ORIGINS

“Uncyclopedia as a founding block invented fabricated quotes.”

[25]

“Uncyclopedia doesn't have an article on me. But, I'm the White Castle Press Secretary!”

~ Robert Gibbs

“Meh.”

“Uncyclopedia is a wiki.”

Wikiaization[edit | edit source]

The evil Wikia, a wiki farm owned by Jimbo and that Beezy chick, decided to take over all operations of Uncyclopedia and use its domain name for a bunch of crappy foreign-language content. The Lindsey Conspiracy outlines this idea in further detail, but the basics are as follows:

  • Uncyc has to adopt our crappy new skins we grunt out all the time, but they don't know it yet.
  • We put ads, so we can benefit from caplatism
  • We OWN your souls.

So, why did Uncyc sell out to Wikia? Several reasons have been suggested. However, most of them involve banana pudding, so we shall give you the top three:

  • Not enuff space-Uncyc had taken much of its alloted space in its original host. So, Wikia gave them more space on the condition that they sell everything to Wikia and their caplatistic goals. Even worse, Jimbo decided to push the less effective Satire as an alternative to the established and wonderful satir. So, it was in betterment of the community.
  • Shrimp-Uncyc users were fed a steady diet of chicken. So, the government made them move to Wikia. That was an earmark in Obamacare.[26]
  • [expletive deleted]

Wikia owns it. After some time, Wikia took away Uncyc's .org domain and placed gave it a Wikia subdomain without any sort of warning. Meh, Jimbo needed a new fishing rod.

Policies[edit | edit source]

Uncyclopedia is the primer source of useless wiki policies. With such crap as HTBFANJS[27], The Beginner's Guide, Don't be a dick, The five pliers, No dumbells, I can't think of any more pointless policy pages, Elvis didn't do no drugs, and uhhh, Uncyc has given us so much crap to worry about to even have an article survived.. There are more policy pages on Uncyc than actual articles, to ensure very few pages actually survive the admins' huffing sprees. Us sane people at Illogicopedia have taken the liberty of summarizing Uncyclopedia's policy pages for those who were too freaking lazy to read the whole pile.

HTBFANJS* This is a rather large acronym most Uncyclopedians follow. To those few idiotic Uncyclopedians who waste their time writing about that guy who got wasted at that high school party, they are constantly reminded of this doctrine[28]. The main points are as follows:

  • Satir is key. We wanna be funny. Please use Yo Mamma jokes sparingly.
  • We are a repository of hum0r. Don't drink egg nog.
  • Hum0r techniques are paramount. Please use these how you wish. Please repeat crap, be circular, and all those other things HTBFANJS says but I was too lazy to actually put here for your inconveincencece.
  • Reference this thing 1000 times in each article. This ensures this site stays a site of clever satir, rather than a compendium of juvenile jokes.
  • Gay is a common word at Uncyc. It's here a lot. Help the cause. Add it more.
  • In-jokes are meant to not be used. Wilde quotes are frowned upon because it only consists of 9334434.334455% of the quotes.
  • AAAAAAAAA!

*This is here for completeness's sake only. This is in NO way meant to substitute the actual HTBFANJS. If your article is huffed at Uncyc by following only this condensed version, we take no responsibility for that misfortune. Now, please sit in awe as this message self-destructs in 5-4-3-2-1-BOOOOOOOOM!

The Beginner's Guide

I checked. This is a bunch of meaningless crap that is a waste of a policy page. Don't click here to read the crap itself.

Don't be dick

Only applies to Richard Nixon.

Teh V Pliers

Well, it makes no sense, since pliers can only be found at the House Depot. So, we dismiss this crap.

I can't think of any more pointless policy pages

Uncyc finally have up.

Subprojects[edit | edit source]

  • UnNews-A place where some idiots can tell you what crap to write and yell at you for not writing left-wing news. A good place to be.
  • UnBooks-A place where literacy is void.
  • UnTunes-Karaoke
  • UnDictionary-A trash bin in the landfill known as Uncyclopedia. Why?
  • Wilde Project-More Wilde crap.
  • Uncycloversity-What is that thing, anyway?
  • Why?-That's my question.
  • HowTo-A place where people can post inappropriate-for-work picture without any form of remorse.
  • UnTweets-The only place where teenage girls can write articles without immediate huffing. Like, uh, totally, Brad, is SOOOOOOO CUTE!
  • UnScripts-Does not exist. It never did. You're just imagining things.
  • UnDiaper-Where diapers can roam and get soiled.
  • UnCrap-Stuff.
  • UnStuff-Crap.
  • UnStalin-Where the Commies hang out.

Uncyc and Obama[edit | edit source]

Uncyclopedia has a Pro-Obama slant. Obviously this is true, since if anyone writes an article opposing his radical agenda, they get yelled at, their article is deleted[29] and they get shot by the Obama Civillian Corps and/or KGB and Redshirts.

Uncyclopedian Bans[edit | edit source]

People who don't heed the Uncyclopedian Order and HTBFANJS, get a big fat ban. Or anyone else who dareth use their site.

Death of Uncyclopedia[edit | edit source]

After Illogicopedia wins the wiki of the lifetime, Uncyc will kill itself and its satir will cease to exist. THE END

  1. ↑ or colloquially known here as Uncle Pete. Having 25000+ articles allegedely counts as content-free. I guess Illogicopedia has negative content.
  2. ↑ Give or take.
  3. ↑ Teenagers and the unemployed decide fact!
  4. ↑ Not Satire. That's too lame.
  5. ↑ humor/humour is too lame for Uncyc.
  6. ↑ Like New York Landfill?
  7. ↑ Uncyc has too much crap! Check their NRV section.
  8. ↑ A puppy may have also been thrown in there.
  9. ↑ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
  10. ↑ Worth 3.5 college credits.
  11. ↑ It's thriller, thriller night....
  12. ↑ Those freaking Uncyc in-jokes are really starting to bug me!
  13. ↑ This is a fabricated Wilde quote.
  14. ↑ Meh.
  15. ↑ Not its mom. Don't try that one.
  16. ↑ This actually doesn't need citation
  17. ↑ Not really. It has a liberal bias.
  18. ↑ The webhost was Barney.
  19. ↑ Did you know she also owns Nasty King?
  20. ↑ Wikia hates you.
  21. ↑ The other half of the Unyclopedia collection is hosted by Teh Preps! Evul, evul, evul preps with their dang short shorts and vomiting selves! Help! They took the White House! Oh, noooooo! This was a total waste of a footnote.
  22. ↑ This wiki has been since abandoned and occupied by Nazi Germany after the Battle of the Buldge.
  23. ↑ Although...
  24. ↑ Is it?
  25. ↑ Fair and balanced!
  26. ↑ Speaker Nancy Pelosi approves this message!
  27. ↑ This large acronym actually stands for "How to be Funny and Not Just Stupid (note:This is the article's only factual footnote.
  28. ↑ After their vanity article is mercilessly huffed.
  29. ↑ Or completely altered to be Pro-Obama
Retrieved from "https://en.illogicopedia.org/w/index.php?title=Uncyclopedia/Rewrite&oldid=240469"