Xiaolin Showdown

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This article was
too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,
  but Illogicopedia loves random stuff
 Uncyclopedia.png Wiki.png 

Bouncywikilogo7.gif
For those who can't handle the real truth, the spinners of fake truth at Wikipedia have a thoroughly boring article on Xiaolin Showdown.

“The main character is a personified lightbulb, peculiar.”
~ Oscar Wilde

“Anime? What Anime?”

~ Everyone on Xiaolin Showdown

“Xiaolin Showdown? That sucks. Now Xiaolin Hoedown on the other hand”

~ Random pimp on Xiaolin Hoedown

Xiaolin Showdown (KYYI-ah-linn) is arguably a TV show directed by geeks who have too much time on their hands. It was produced by Cartoon Network, a station developed for milk. Somehow, they ended up with this cool show instead. Its namesake derives from the words "Xiaolin," meaning "monks who do really cool stunts in an animated TV show," and "showdown," meaning "a fight between two or more people." Thus, Xiaolin Showdown has come to mean "an animated TV show about monks who get into fights with another person and do really lame stunts."

The Beginning[edit | edit source]

Fifteen hundred years ago, the powerful Xiaolin Dragon Grand Master Dashi fought the first Xiaolin Showdown against the powerful Heylin Witch, Wuya. Wuya pitted her dark magic and her army of Earth men against Dashi and his mystical objects called the Shen Gong Wu. In the end, Dashi triumphed and trapped Wuya inside a wooden puzzle box. The threat averted, Dashi spread his Shen Gong Wu around the world, never to be used again until Wuya rose to power again and the powerful baubles begin revealing themselves.

Fifteen hundred years later, Wuya was released from her puzzle box by an evil boy genius named Jack Spicer, who has created an army of robots and wishes to dominate the entire world. With them are Hannibal Roy Bean, the Ying-Ying Bird, and a dozen other villains who want to help them retrieve the Shen Gong Wu. However, the only thing that can save the world and use the Shen Gong Wu to defeat the forces of evil is a young Xiaolin Dragon named Omi and a small band of young Xiaolin trainees, Raimundo, Kimiko, and Clay. Together, they have fought against Wuya and her allies and managed to find and recover more than seventy Shen Gong Wu. Raimundo had been chosen as the group's new leader, and now they prepare to face all the enemies they met in the past in one great battle.

The Monks[edit | edit source]

Omi - An orphan boy who has been training in the art of Shaolin Kung Fu since birth, after his parents were killed by Chase Young. Omi is the Xiaolin Dragon of Water and as such possess the ability to manipulate water in all forms. His element represents how he can be calm like a serene pond or raging like a dangerous tsunami. He takes his work very seriously and is the only one that wears his Xiaolin robes at all times. When it comes to to martial arts, he is the most skilled Xiaolin monk of the group, and he knows this quite well. Often times he boasts about his abilities, giving others around him the chance to exploit his ignorance. He once joined the Heylin side, much to Chase Young's delight, but he soon returned to his good side with the help of his friends. His signature move is Tornado Strike-water. His signature Shen Gong Wu is the Orb of Tornami. His Wudai Weapon was the Shimo Staff, but after it was destroyed by the Kuzusu Atom from Hannibal Bean, his new Wudai Weapon became the Tsunami Sword. His elemental Shen Gong Wu is the Kaijin Charm. He has only an older brother, Hanchuro, and his ancestor is Grand Master Dashi. At the end of the last episode of season 4, he is promoted to a Grand Master Xiaolin Dragon by Master Fung, Master Monk Guan, Chase Young, and Hanchuro.

Raimundo Pedrosa - Raimundo is the Xiaolin Dragon of Wind from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and can control everything air related, like summoning gale force winds and enabling himself to fly. He is a sharp, circus-raised kid, the jester of the team. Although a little self-centered, he is quite loyal and caring to his friends. Raimundo has turned to the Heylin side twice. The first time, he was upset with Master Fung for not letting him "move on" to Xiaolin Apprentice, and decided that siding with Wuya was the best way to show his true strengths. He then helped her get her solid form back by combining the Reversing Mirror and the Serpent's Tail in "In The Flesh". However, he betrayed her in "Citadel Of Doom" when he realized his friends were more important than riches. In the episode "The Return Of Master Monk Guan", the second time he sided with Hannibal Bean as a result of being mistreated by Master Monk Guan, but in the end, it was proven as a hoax to fool Hannibal. His signature move is Typhoon Boom. His signature Shen Gong Wu is the Sword of the Storm and his Wudai Weapon is the Blade of the Nebula. His elemental Shen Gong Wu is the Crest of the Condor. In "Time After Time(2)", he was promoted to Shoku Warrior level, or team leader, granting him a new set of robes.

Kimiko - The daughter of a rich and influential Japanese businessman, Kimiko is the Xiaolin Dragon of Fire and has the power to create and control said element. She is usually seen wearing street style or high fashion from Japan. She is well acquainted with modern technology and is a quick-witted and skilled fighter. However, she can be quite short-tempered, especially when insulted because of her gender. Omi was first to discover this when he read "The Ancient Guide To Females". However, he unintentionally continues to provoke Kimiko's anger in several instances. Despite her temper, when Kimiko is calm she shows deep care for all her teammates. Her signature move is the Judolette Flip. Her signature Shen Gong Wu is the Star Hanabi, her Wudai Weapon is the Arrow Sparrow, and her elemental Shen Gong Wu is the Cat's Eye Draco. In "Dangerous Love", Kimiko develops a crush on Hanchuro and eventually shares her first kiss with him.

Clay - Clay is a Texas cowboy and the Xiaolin Dragon of Earth, allowing him to cause earthquakes and fissures in the ground and gives him enhanced strength. He is the most easy-going member of the group and has an overriding Southern accent. He is always polite and occasionally dispenses down-home pearls of wisdom. His skill in Tai Chi and his element of Earth both emphasize his sense of balance in all things. His signature move is Seismic Kick. His main Shen Gong Wu is the Fist of Tebigong, although he sometimes uses others, most notably the Third Arm Sash and Lasso Boa Boa. His Wudai Weapon is the Big Bang Meteorang, and his elemental Shen Gong Wu is the Longhorn Taurus. His father owns a ranch in Texas, and his sister Jessie is the leader of an all-girl motorcycle gang called the Black Vipers.

Hanchuro - A young ninja that is an ally to the Xiaolin monks and a bitter enemy to Wuya and the other forces of evil. When he was five years old, Hanchuro began his training at the Xiaolin Temple as Master Fung's apprentice. He continued his training with Chase Young, but left after he found out that Chase was responsible for his parents' deaths. He left his newborn brother, Omi, on the steps of the Xiaolin Temple, and finished the rest of his training at the temple of Master Monk Guan. He lives at a small temple in the Himalayan Mountains with only his trained falcon Kuro, a small herd of goats, and two female students he is training, Yuki and Anna. He revealed to Omi that he is his older brother and that both of them were descended from Grand Master Dashi. He helped the monks recover the last of the Shen Gong Wu and defeat Wuya, Hannibal Bean, Jack Spicer, and the other villains in the last battle. His main weapons are a sword he bought from a Chinese smith and a Spear of Guan Master Monk Guan gave him, and his preferred Shen Gong Wu are the Eye of Dashi, Third Arm Sash, Bow of Chase Young, Kuzusu Atom, and Avis Whistle.

Kuro - Kuro is Hanchuro's trained Saker Falcon and is well bred to carry messages and fight other birds of prey in the air. When the falcon was a young hatchling, Hanchuro received Kuro as a gift from Master Fung after completing everything that he taught him, and Hanchuro began training him since then. He is a little protective of Hanchuro, whom he trusts most of all, and his worst enemy is the Ying-Ying Bird, whom he has defeated multiple times through most of the episodes of season 4. In "Dangerous Love", while Hanchuro was rescuing Kimiko from falling off a cliff, Kuro managed to retrieve the Bow of Chase Young Shen Gong Wu from Jack Spicer. In "The Heylin Flu", Kuro accompanied Omi in searching for the Jewel of the Phoenix Shen Gong Wu. He eats only meat strips fed by hand, and he soon develops a bond of friendship with Omi, mistaking him for Hanchuro.

Master Fung - A master monk, Fung is the teacher of the monks and the owner of the Xiaolin Temple. Though the young monks make a few mistakes every once in a while, he is patient and offers them advice along the way. After Hanchuro left his newborn brother, Omi on the steps of the Xiaolin Temple, Master Fung took Omi in and trained him in the art of Shaolin Kung Fu. When Omi was still a baby, Hanchuro became Master Fung's apprentice for about six months, but left when Omi was still young.

Dojo Kanojo Jo - Dojo Kanojo Jo is the Guardian of the Ancient Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu and the dragon that the Xiaolin Warriors ride on. He is a wisecracking dragon of the Chinese variety, though he lacks legs.

Grand Master Dashi -An ancient hero from long ago, his favorite passtimes were napping and wasting peoples time. Strangly he died fifteen hundred years ago but his friend 'master monk guan' didn't, even though they are from the same time. Some say he never died, and is living out his days in the main characters flashbacks.

Master Monk Guan - Another hero from long ago who was great friends with grand master Dashi and Chase young. He is an honorable monk and apparently is a really really really really really good fighter. He has his own monestary and over five hundred copies of his famous ' spear of guan'.

Jermaine -

Megan -

Anna -

Yuki -

The Actual Storyline[edit | edit source]

Bored in a secret lair underneath the Price Buster's next to Blackpool Tower, two evil partners, Jack Spicer and Wuya (a ghost), decided to rule the world. Then they heard about the Shen gong wu, mystical items that have "special" powers. Jack often clashed with the monks over these Shen gong wu, in what is called a Xiaolin Showdown. The situation always looked cool, but never was, and usually involved some silly lesson from the beginning of the show. Jack always lost, cried, swore his revenge,and then goes home to hit himself over the head with a brick. In the end, the monks had gained a whopping total of 2 Shen gong wu fly back to the temple, chatting atop Dojo.

The Other Villains[edit | edit source]

In case you poor deluded simpletons were wondering, there are other villains that occasionally appear. They are:

Panda Bubba[edit | edit source]

Panda Bubba - A guy who wears black and white and has a bad laugh. He is currently protected by the Chinese government because of loss of habitat and now lives on loan in the National Zoo in America.

Katnappé[edit | edit source]

Katnappé - Crazy girl in her teens. Likes cats. Uses cats as weapons. Meows and uses cat puns. She's the obligatory anime cat girl to the extreme

Mala Mala Jong[edit | edit source]

Mala Mala Jong - Made up of Shen-Gong-Wu, different than the Shen-Gong-Woohoo and much more powerful. Cannot speak, though can stand, sit, heel, and beg.

Wilhelm[edit | edit source]

Some immortal pimp that watches over both villains and monks and such, observing their angst and using them as pawns to bring him steps closer to activating Zarathustra, the ultimate baking oven, to make the entire universe one huge, extravagant chocolate cake. He has his manservants the Testaments face off against both monks and villains, but they always fail and are forced to eat his diabolical asparagus.

Chase Young[edit | edit source]

An emortal villain who likes to watch people from atop his domain composed of trap impacted rock, ocasionaly avoiding the random fangirl that just happens to end up at his evil lair. Chase was once on the side of good but an offer of cookies from an evil vegetable forced him to 'join those on the dark side'. He was once friends of Grand master Dashi and Master monk Guan, but because of his change to the side of evil he challenged dashi and guan to a light saber battle to defeat them, because apparently they don't use the word 'kill' on cartoon network. It was once thought that dashi died in the light saber battle against chase. Hence the end of their friendship.

Le Mime[edit | edit source]

Le Mime - A boy mime. The writers spent many long hours coming up with his name.Le Mine is so creative and original.He is able to transform into anything he wants into reality,besides himself.He lives in Paris,France. Briefly worked with Cyclops before realizing that he didn't actually exist.He disappeared in a puff of logic,like God before him.

Jack Spicer[edit | edit source]

A gothic, cocky villain. That looks absolutely amazing. He also likes pudding cups and laughing real evil like. His favorite passtime is stalking Chase young and screaming like a girl. His greatest fear is of rejection...and clowns.

Yulie Ahtreide[edit | edit source]

Not really a villain either, she wanted to find the Querky QWERTY to find special Paladienne manuals that can only be found by typing in a super secret cheat code. She can heal wounds in an unnesessary manner, by stomping on one's foot.

Harry Potter[edit | edit source]

Like those two above, not a villain either. He found the Wacky Wand to replace that piece of shit wand he used all the time. He helps the monks occasionally by giving them pointless advice about steering clear of crap like pirates and ninjas and the likely chance of listening to Himeko Katagiri from Pani Poni Dash! say "maho!" to death.

Charity Bazaar[edit | edit source]

Yet again, not a villain. She's that depressed little blonde brat from Histeria! who has traveled five years into the present day by Father Time to prevent the nerds who made this show from wasting their time making this show and bent on bringing Histeria! back. She is often seen with the like of Harry Potter, Yulie and Jude as a futuristic guide, which she is NOT happy about.

Pepper Mills[edit | edit source]

Once again, not a villian. A hyperactive fangirl from Histeria! who asking people with their autographs, and confused them with other famous celebrities, which gives a lesson to those fanbrats who are freakin' obsessed with Naruto x Sasuke yaoi fan arts not to be stupid. Confusing Jude Maverick with Jim Hawkings. Her favorite idol is Himeko Katagiri. Her scream made Katara deaf.

George Formby[edit | edit source]

Though not a villain as such, he once went evil after watching a James Bond film, he bought a Collarless suit and joined the British National Party and set off on a rampage across the world, he stopped just short of the High Street after falling off his motorbike and gave himself an injury on the cross-bar.

List of Shen Gong Wu revealed in Season Four[edit | edit source]

Bow of Chase Young - A bronze composite bow that turns a single arrow into as many as a hundred missiles when fired from the string. The arrows do not easily miss when fired from this powerful bow.

Avis Whistle - A silver whistle that allows its user to summon birds of all shapes and sizes, from little sparrows to majestic falcons and eagles.

Ruby Phoenix - A crimson phoenix that allows its user to bring things to life, including the dead.

Bear Baton - A brown baton Shen Gong Wu that allows its user to transform into a bear.

Bullhorn Blazer - A small pair of bullhorns that allows its user to transform into a raging bull.

Jewel of the Phoenix - A bright large diamond that has the ability to cure any illness or fatal injury in a few seconds.

Scepter of Spirits - A golden scepter that turns its user's solid enemies into ghosts.

Mirror of Past, Present, and Future - A small mirror that allows its user to look into the past, present, and the future.

Wolf Scepter - A staff with a carved wolf's head that allows its user to transform into a werewolf and summon a pack of coyotes or wolves.

List of Episodes for Season 4 of Xiaolin Showdown[edit | edit source]

Episode one: A New Ally: After the events that took place in "Time After Time: Part 2", the Xiaolin monks are shown fighting against all their old enemies, including Chase Young, Wuya, and Jack Spicer. They succeed in defeating most of their foes, but Hannibal Roy Bean manages to steal the Moby Morpher and a few other Shen Gong Wu, using them to defeat the monks. However, Omi and his friends are rescued by a mysterious young ninja named Hanchuro and his faithful Saker Falcon Kuro, who steal back the Shen Gong Wu and help the Xiaolin monks defeat their enemies. They soon realized that Hanchuro was once Master Fung's apprentice, before he completed the rest of his training with Chase Young and Master Monk Guan.

Episode two: Dangerous Love: During a battle against Jack Spicer and his robots while trying to retrieve a new Shen Gong Wu, the Bow of Chase Young, Hanchuro manages to rescue Kimiko from falling off a cliff. Kimiko slowly develops feelings for Hanchuro and secretly falls in love with him. Though he doesn't show it, no one knows that Hanchuro also has developed a crush on Kimiko. But when Jack Spicer attacks the temple again with an army of dinosaur-bots, the two lovers must focus on their fighting to help defeat Jack Spicer before he steals all the Shen Gong Wu.

NOTE: This is the episode where Kimiko and Hanchuro share their first kiss.

Episode three: The Return of Hannibal: The Xiaolin monks are distraught after Hannibal Roy Bean and the Ying-Ying Bird manage to steal a new Shen Gong Wu from them, the Avis Whistle. When Hanchuro found out about it, he promised them that he would try to get it back from them. But as they recover a new Shen Gong Wu, the Ruby Phoenix, they discover that Hannibal had used the Avis Whistle to summon a flock of powerful Chinese Eagles. Only Omi and Raimundo must work together in order to stop Hannibal before he destroys their friends.

Episode four: A New Teacher: The Xiaolin monks noticed Hanchuro had left the Xiaolin temple and even Master Fung does not know where he went. Omi soon finds a note from Hanchuro, telling him that he was to journey to his temple in the Himalayan Mountains and that he must take a sack-load of Shen Gong Wu with him. The note also added that he will have two friends accompanying him, which he discovers are Jermaine, his old friend from New York, and Jack Spicer's little cousin Megan. Arriving at the temple on the Shen-Ga-Roo, they find Hanchuro and two other students, Anna and Yuki.

Episode five: Friend Feud: Omi begins to grow infuriated after Jermaine loses the Bear Baton, a Shen Gong Wu that turns its user into a brown bear, to Jack Spicer. Hanchuro warns him of a path of anger that leads to destruction, but the feud between Omi and Jermaine grows only stronger. To make matters worse, Anna and Yuki start quarreling against Omi after he refuses to help them with any work around the temple. Only Hanchuro and Megan can work together to get everyone back together.

Episode six: The Heylin Flu: After failing to retrieve the Bullhorn Blazer Shen Gong Wu from Hanchuro, Omi, and their friends, an infuriated Wuya uses some of her dark magical powers to bring forth the Heylin Flu, a mysterious illness that can trigger signs of uncontrollable coughing, severe headaches, and stuffed noses. Hanchuro and all the other monks come down with the Heylin Flu, except Omi. Hanchuro tells Omi that only the Jewel of the Phoenix, a bright jewel that is worth all the treasures of the world, can cure them of the disease. When the Shen Gong Wu reveals itself, Omi, accompanied by Hanchuro's falcon Kuro, must face Wuya in a Xiaolin Showdown to retrieve it.

Episode seven: Master Monk Guan's Apprentice: Master Monk Guan visits Hanchuro's temple and exclaims that he will be staying for a few days, much to Omi's and Hanchuro's delight. On the first night of his stay at the temple, Master Monk Guan tells Omi and the other young monks of how much process Hanchuro had achieved the last few months when he was his apprentice and student at the temple. But when Chase Young arrives at the temple with his army of Jungle Cats, Hanchuro and Omi must protect Master Monk Guan from Chase's presence.

Episode eight: The Seven Plagues Of The World: Master Monk Guan, Hanchuro, Omi, and the others are shocked when they find out that Jack Spicer, Wuya, and Hannibal Roy Bean had managed to sneak into the temple and steal eight of their Shen Gong Wu. Omi's old friends, Raimundo, Kimiko, and Clay, sent them a message that Jack Spicer was using them to create seven powerful plagues that were causing destruction around the world. Realizing that he will be even more difficult to stop, the monks would have to work together to stop Jack Spicer and take back their stolen Shen Gong Wu.

Episode nine: Cry In The Wild: While trying to find the Wolf Scepter, a Shen Gong Wu that allows its user to turn into a wolf and even summon a pack of wolves, in the Appalachian Mountains, Omi and Megan end up separated from their friends. With Jack Spicer, Katnappe, Vlad, Tubbimura, and Jack Spicer's robot army on their heels, the two are forced to stick together and hide from their enemies at all costs. Megan soon recovers the Wolf Scepter, but Jack Spicer arrives and tries to take it from his little cousin, forcing them to fight in a Xiaolin Showdown.

Episode ten: The Revenge Of Sibini: During a raid on the Xiaolin temple, Jack Spicer accidentally breaks the Mosaic Scale Shen Gong Wu, releasing the ancient spirit Sibini. Sibini manages to sneak inside Dojo and take complete control of his body, causing him to wreck havoc on the world. As Dojo goes on a rampage and begins to search for more Shen Gong Wu, Omi, Hanchuro, and their friends must work together if they were to stop Sibini. They also discover that they can only defeat him if they find a Shen Gong Wu they lost months ago, the Hodoku Mouse.

Episode eleven: The Final Showdown Part I: After several weeks of training, Hanchuro tells Omi that if he can prove himself in one week, he might become a Xiaolin Dragon, as well as one of the greatest. When two more Shen Gong Wu reveal themselves, the Mirror of Past, Present, and Future and the Scepter Of Spirits, the monks are forced to split up and recover them. Unfortunately, they fall into a trap set up by Wuya and Jack Spicer and are captured, but Omi, Hanchuro, Dojo, and Kuro manage to escape. After managing to recover both Shen Gong Wu, they discover that Jack Spicer has built a massive army of robots and trapped Chase Young inside the Sphere of Yun, giving him the power to control Chase Young's army of Jungle Cats.

Episode twelve: The Final Showdown Part II: After rescuing Master Fung and Master Monk Guan from Wuya's Earthmen, Hanchuro and Omi seek refuge in Hanchuro's temple. Master Fung and Master Monk Guan convince them and Dojo to take the remaining Shen Gong Wu and find another place to hide, fearing that Jack Spicer would find them if they stayed. While seeking refuge in a cave in the mountains, Hanchuro told Omi that if they were to defeat Wuya and the other forces of evil, they were to deliver Chase Young from the Heylin side by using the healing powers from the Jewel of the Phoenix, also deafeating evil forever. He also reveals to Omi and Dojo that he is Omi's older brother and that both of them are descended from the greatest of all Xiaolin Dragons, Grand Master Dashi.

Episode thirteen: The Final Showdown Part III: After delivering Chase Young from the Heylin side and turning Wuya back into her ghostly form, Omi and Hanchuro then break into Jack Spicer's hideout and release all the other monks. Raimundo suggests that they should face Jack Spicer and the other villains in one final battle, but Omi suggested that they need the Sands of Time to help them win. Using the Crystal Glasses, he finds the location of the Shen Gong Wu and decides to go after it. While Raimundo, Kimiko, Clay, and the other monks prepare to fight Jack Spicer's army, Omi and Hanchuro manage to retrieve the Sands of Time and use it to travel into the past to fetch Grand Master Dashi. In the end Hannibal Roy Bean and the Ying-Ying Bird are destroyed by the Kuzusu Atom, Jack Spicer and the other villains are imprisoned, and Omi is promoted to Grand Master Xiaolin Dragon by his brother Hanchuro.

NOTE: This is the second episode that shows old Omi from the future, as well as the fourth episode showing the Sands of Time Shen Gong Wu.

Also See[edit | edit source]