Psychonecrosis
Psychonecrosis (literally soul death in ancient Greek albeit not in practice but very much in malpractice), AKA "the funny disease which makes your brain fry, melt or 'splode" or "zomb-brain-go-boom" (dreadfully inaccurate colloquialisms, I have to say, for they are referring to the severest variant of said disease), or PN for short (with the letter designating the type of psychonecrosis after P and N) is the death of the mind (or specifically, gangrene of the brain). Getting tired of us, the glorious bracket people yet? Different types of psychonecrosis occur under different circumstances. Psychonecrosis rarely results in death on type B psychonecrosis, while on type C it is inevitable once your skull explodes and on type A death never occurs. If not death, various other weird things may or may not happen to patients with psychonecrosis.
Psychonecrosis originates from the attempt by scientists to create zombies. Nobody knows why such a thing was even attempted. Indeed, there is not a single reason to endanger the whole of humanity by unleashing an army of living corpses on the streets of the world. Absolutely not. Nevertheless, the scientists wanted zombies and in the midst of getting one's face blown off and the other's brain matter flowing out of every orifice of its skull, they succeeded. Well, kinda. The third zombie started hallucinating, speaking incoherently and using words that didn't exist yet in any language known to man. While x-amining the x-ray they found the zombie's brain to not be rotten but toasted instead. Not well toasted, either! All black, eugh!
After developing psychonecrosis, the scientists set out to discover other mind- and body-boggling ailments. Below are listed the three types of psychonecrosis: C, A and B.
Type AAAAA[edit | edit source]
The desired effect of lifelong experimentation and several generations of time lost from saving the world and used in development of an army of zombies, ach ja! On one hand we have Type A psychonecrosis, PNA or 'dry' psychonecrosis As dry as the humor of this article, wait, what humor? is the least threatening form of psychonecrosis for the patient itself, because the patient is a mere object to act upon and not an actual person. You were fooled by the humanist propaganda spread by humans, obviously. This form of psychonecrosis turns the patient's skull into a toaster, but like any second-hand toasters bought from a flea market, it turns the brain into a constipation crap: black, crusty and smells weird. The affected patient seems to have turned into an entirely different species, what with its incomprehensible blather about making America great again, hallucinations about rainbow-colored Mexican leprechauns and having one's hair flying away in the wind.
Nobody wants to cure dry psychonecrosis. Why on earth would they, seeing how what scientists have worked for many centuries has finally been achieved? Why would you want all of their work to go to waste? You monster.
Type Bee[edit | edit source]
On the other hand we have type B psychonecrosis or PNB is so wet that it's candidly called wet psychonecrosis. Recipients of this blessing usually die but aren't allowed to heaven so that God won't contract it. Wet psychonecrosis causes your poor, poor brain to have a meltdown and pour out of your eyes, ears, mouth, nose and any hole anyone shot into your head. Once some dude got shot in the head and survived but then got this illness. He was the first victim. He cursed God on his deathbed and thus God made it so that everyone with wet psychonecrosis goes to hell. Prejudicial bastard, ain't he?