From Illogicopedia
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Reddit is a place where people go to see dragons fucking cars (and then cars fucking dragons). It is run by an alien species who seek to undermine the productive machine of humanity by worming their invisible tentacle peni through your network, out the back of that USB port you've forgotten about, and into your ear holes, where they splurge highly addictive alien ejaculate into your cerebral cortex. Somehow we got our hands on it. This is what causes that soft, relaxing feeling when you look at a Reddit post. These alien peni demons seek to enslave you via interesting posts about snails and other stuff which I will not mention. All energy you put towards any post goes towards powering their conquest of earth via the proven science of work done=force x distance (I.e. the work you do is the force behind their invasion). Somehow they haven’t succeeded lmao dumb idiots. Decoy snail.

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