United States of Whalley

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The United States of Whalley (also refered to as Whalley, the US, the USW, a Shithole, the Underage Drinking Capital of the Northwest and That Place where there used to be a Mental Hospital) is a federal constitutional republic comprising twelve states and one territory. The country is situated in the Ribble Valley, bordering Mordor Sabden and the Dingle Federation to the South East, the United Duchy of Blackburn to the south west, and Clitheroe and its tributaries to the north. Dominating the country is the Calder River, and the menacing visage of Pendle Hill.

Whalley Bridge

History[edit | edit source]

Native Calderoids and Ribblonian Settlers[edit | edit source]

Originally the lands presently held by the United States were inhabited by the Calder branch of the Indo-Sabdenaryan tribes, who had inhabited the area since around circa 4500 BC, believed to have migrated from Sabden in the previous centuries due to Treacle shortages. Though there were no treacle deposits in the Calder Valley, the land proved to be fertile, providing crop yields twice that in other fertile valleys such as the Nile Valley. The native population boomed, soon developing an identity separate from its Sabden roots (modern descendents would argue, anyway).

Exploration of the Calder valley had been sporadic – the Valley was known only to the Golden Syrup Horde, and was not discovered by a Ribblonian until 1592, by Jose Intrube. Unfortunately for the Intrubé dynasty, Jose had attrious handwriting, and when reporting his discovery to the Duke of Blackburn wrote his name as 'Whule', which during the accent of the day was pronouced 'Whulaye' which over the centuries has morphed into the state's present name.

The first colony, called Abbeyware, was founded in 1607, and in 1609 then 1612 when the first two expeditions died from Chicken Pox and Hepatitus epidemics, by the Whalley Range company. By 1640 all the original 5 states had been founded and settled by largely Blackburnian and Burnlic indentured servants, and founded their economy on cattle ranching and timber using the natives as slave labour.

Origins of the Union[edit | edit source]

Increasing calls for further intergration were made as the threats from neighbouring countries increased, as the great states of which the colonies were tributaries of gradually lost interest in their upkeep and protection. The Riosland Incident of 1645 only proved this, which led to Geoffry Wilpinson founding the first Whalley convention of states on June 12th 1646. Delegates from four of the five states took part: Woodland, Riosland, Abbeyware, and Stationia. Harizona refused to take part after a border dispute with Abbeyware. Wilpinson argued that the only way to fend off attack and increase Whalley's borders would to have a strong centeral government that still allowed for some degree of state governance.

The delgates settled on a federal system where the states made some law effecting only that state and the federal government some that effected all states in the USW. The Whalley concordiant was signed by the four delegates on June 17th 1646, a day that is now a national holiday in the USW. Billingtonas was intergrated into the union three days later after the federal government offered to bail out the state's floundering ecconomy.

Over the next five years, state legislatures were created and a constitution formally created. Written by Toby Jasperson, the USW's constitution guarentees freedom of speech, worship and sheep ownership. Delegates from the five states signed the doccument in the Whalley unionist tavern, now known as the Toby jug after being re-named after Jasperson.