User:The Vixen

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Post messages below this line, please...The Vixen (talk) 14:17, 27 Arche 2018 (UTC)

I would like to request admin-ship and page protection to my user page, so nobody disrupts or vandals it, you see. I want only me and trusted users/admins to edit my page... The Vixen (talk) 14:47, 27 Arche 2018 (UTC)

Your attention please, while this announcement is going through place, you have been inducted into a secret society. This secret society is called Illogicopedia. It is home to humans, minks and a variety of other races. We don't like vandals, nor sandals. We do however like refugees from Uncyclopedia. Talk about it somewhere. Help is over here: -> here. Enjoy the site, that's the thing. But look at our policy first. Cheese it now. Any featured work will be rewarded with a gold star, which is cool indeed. You could even get a cool IOTM award! In the end that's it. Enjoy it! Illogicopedia is here. Also, save your breath for reading The Longest Article.

Are you Brazilian? Or are you just User:Ivy Smith? XY007 (talk - contribs - business) 21:49, 27 Arche 2018 (UTC)

"I like to share what I do know, which is why I like Illogicopedia"

We're looking forward to seeing your knowledge. I'm sure it'll be absolutely bonkers. CG098 (talk ₪‎ contribs) 22:15, 27 Arche 2018 (UTC)

I've been binge-drinking ginger beer

Hence botulism and surrealism. It would seem that I could lolly-gag into a lolly-gag to lolly-gag with other people who like to lolly-gag into a lolly-gag to lolly-gag with other people, but I would rather stare at the decrepit monolith humanity that is the campaign headquarters of a failed politician in her prime. Crime. Grime. Lime. Chime. Dime. Mime. I also lost my keys to the sonic universe of a Spanish space-themed band (my headphones) whilst waiting for the strong yet vexatious Santa Ana winds to deliver my groceries to me for free. Bezos laughs at my plight as I describe it now. Respiration has failed to fail. Until then, perhaps a good and solid helping of a hammer to claw (not what I saw, this flaw on my paw) would suffice for the intruding hyenas in our attic. Explains the increase in euphemistic language these days.

Hello, Vixen. I am nowhere near as good at maths as you are (as one could observe by my username), but I can definitely tell if Cthulhu is breathing down my scrawny neck. Welcome to Illogicopedia, where irradiated noodles are gleefully ingested at the expense of our own hand-eye coordination skills prior to riding a unicycle. There is never a shortage of creativity and spam around these parts, so feel free to be an actively participating community member.

I would also like to address your statement at the beginning of this talk page:
I would like to request admin-ship and page protection to my user page, so nobody disrupts or vandals it, you see. I want only me and trusted users/admins to edit my page...

I am an admin, the newest member of the ranks to be exact. I can definitely go ahead and protect your page to your specifications. As for your request for adminship... that's not how it works. You've only been with us for a few days, Vixen. Granting adminship to a brand new user that requests it is just not how it works. It took me a few years and a particularly virulent period of vandalism coming from a one person who was disturbingly obsessed with our website to be granted adminship, alongside a continuous display of activity, consistent contributions to our web community (creating articles, constructively editing articles, fighting vandalism, etc.), and being eternally subservient to OUR FNORD AND SCREENSAVER CTHULHU (in other words, being illogical). Furthermore, there is no need for another admin as of the date of this statement, since I was the one selected by the Bureaucrats to fill in the void of admin availability.

However, there is no need to be disheartened by this, Vixen. We here at Illogicopedia have something called Illogicopedian of the Month in which we reward particularly illogical and contributive members of our web community with a banana-shaped trophy, an invisible Ferarri, and Rollback rights, which is a function to quickly undo another user's edits if they are acts of vandalism or simply unconstructive edits. You'll also look more trustworthy to admins, of course, so being a Phantom (someone with Rollback rights) makes you more likely to be considered for adminship if the need arises in the future.

Until then, we at Illogicopedia hope you propagate your illogical nonsense as you please. Also, here are these welcome templates, courtesy of some jerk in Rejkjavik.

Welcome to ?pedia! Hope you enjoy your stay. Please leave your nouns in the locker room (behind the the door marked "LOLCHEESE") So anyway, this is a pseudo-official greeting from a user who may or may not be an admin/sysop/werewolf, so here come the obligatory links to pages to help you out and tell you "Don't be teh vandal kthx": Our beginner's guide is here If you want more info on ?pedia, 'tis right here, and in case you've come from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia or some other "humour" wiki, we also recommend that you understand how ?pedia is different from other wikis A less sensible explanation of our beloved 'pedia is here Our general disclaimer is not here, but here --> LOOKIE Don't be afraid to visit us on IRC DISCORD The rules, such as "ROFL KILL THE BABIESN'T PLZN'T (notn't)" are here. People breaking the rules will have a koala thrown at them, and may also possibly receive a Chinese burn. So, that's all for now... Please be nice, make great articles and help contribute to our community in any way possible: e.g. template making, voting for articles or users, et cetera. ~ The Illogicopedia Welcoming Committee “NO ACTUALLY, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AND WE HOPE YOU DIE.” ~ The Illogicopedia Community on welcoming new members

Whether it's through compulsory community service for crimes we won't go into or just personal choice, you've just joined illogicopedia. First and foremost, may I take your coat *rifles through the pockets*. This greeting if not nailed to your forehead (or applied forcefully with No More Nails) is most likely from an admin/werewolf/Jonas the Happy Vandal/Sysop which makes it excellent, so RELAX. Now we're all relaxed, I'll quickly get through the bits you need to know (rules and where to go etc, and my bribe of course): If you're actually a vandal then prepare to be squashed by an oversized novelty sandal. If you're a complete beginner to wiki's then you may want to click here. If you're nibbling on any cheese or cookies at the moment, STOP! ...Hammer Time! Those are for Santa - our resident stuttering old perv. Just so you know what we're about (the life drawing class is left of that pop-up) I'd advise clicking here. I have to emphasise the section "In comparison to other wikis", just incase you're a fleeing uncyclopedia/uncycling flea user etc. Any featured work will be rewarded with a gold star (to put on your Christmas tree) whilst any !$"?@#!1*&!! work will be rewarded with a swift slap to the chops. If you turn out to infact be a brilliant user and aren't at this point laughing at the huge crater you've made where the Illogia once stood then you could be elidgible for Writer of the Month (or at least an unofficial Insane/Dedication award). If all else fails drink holy water and watch as a big hole-y forms through your heart. If it all goes horribly wrong and the police find your stash of Nuclear warheads, have broken into your house, and the ghost busters are unavailable then you should probably franticly claw for help in the direction of these guys. If you want to wear a funny wig and sit in a house full of commoners or lards then a political party membership may be for you. I recommend the Strangled Cats party. When we finally figure out you're the user that keeps stealing our pocessions we're going to need to keep in touch with you (so we can get a clear shot at ya :P). So please feel free to leave comments on user's talk pages or our sparkling forum. You can talk to us directly on our IRC chatroom. Now all that's left is the complimentary welcoming mint, and my bribe. £<insert number with more zeroes than Binary Code at the end of it here> please. Make all cheques payable to hell.

Nose the cheese, Bcbkye does. 23:32, 1 Arply 2018 (UTC)

Also

What's with the elaborately constructed fake bio on your user page? Please explain. It shares a few details in common with User:Ivy Smith (attending Leicester College and sharing a surname, alongside your rapid re-upload of the same image of a freckled brunette woman). Furthermore, nobody would publish that many details of herself unless it's on Wikipedia.

Again, please explain. 23:51, 1 Arply 2018 (UTC)

Smith is the most common English surname, although it appears she has overplayed her hand. CG098 (talk ₪‎ contribs) 00:39, 2 Arply 2018 (UTC)