10 Reasons Why R. Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)" is the Greatest Song Ever Made

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From 10 Reasons Why, because reason is spread by lists

Alright, I know that it's difficult to convince you that a song made by a man accused of urinating on an underaged girl while filming it is the greatest ever, but I think I am up to the task.

  1. It's smoothness summed up a generation.
  2. It's central theme is the similarity between inserting a car key into an ignition and inserting a penis into a vagina. That's just brilliant.
  3. It's bridge features the phrases "Toot, toot" and "Beep, beep."
  4. It is 100 times more popular than the song it was a remix of, which is also by R. Kelly.
  5. The first line of the chorus is the singer explaining that the song is a remix to another song.
  6. It has the capability of getting stuck in your head unlike any other song in the history of recorded music.
  7. It will get any woman in the world to make love to you.
  8. All of the words are easy to understand, so you'll know them instantly.
  9. It has been known to impregnate women just from listening.
  10. I mean, listen to it.
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