Forum:The Illogic Pickle 3.1

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What, this thing was still going? I had no idea...

After a suitably extended period of typical procrastination, the judges have finally come to a decision in this, the fifth Pickle competition. Winners are in the usual two categories, plus a brand new category, which you shall find out about later. The main categories are:

  • Best Straight Article. The most accomplished rambling for which the prize is a pickle in a jar. Runners up get a spud with eyes, voice not included.
  • Best Randumb Article. The article that is most random and makes least sense, for which the prize is an inflatable hammer. Runners up get ice and a slice to be the cool T.

The pickle was judged by your local butt buddies, Silent Penguin, Hindleyite, Nerd42 and whoever else cared to drop into the chatroom and offer free chocolate. We decided to shake things up a bit this time, and not automatically award the longest article the big prize. That's not to say we didn't like the longer stuff, just that we adopted a quality over quantity stance.

And now, ze results!

The Pickle

The Magic Trolley by Darkgenome

Runner up:
Revision by Testostereich

The Inflatable Hammer

Go home, small child by Benedict Blade

Runner up:
I don't know what this is by Dxpenguinman

Honourable Mentions

Mon pénis a été mangé par des gnomes (Todd Lyons)
I'll Be Right Back (Readmesoon)

Strangled chicken (most half-aRsed attempt)

Pickle? by Helloolleh

Judges' blurb

We wanted to shake things up for this competition, take a step back and be a bit bolder with our judging. This time round, we focused more on originality and praised those articles that jumped straight out at us with their concept and, of course, writing quality. Things were getting a bit stale and predictable, needed shaking up somewhat (No.2) so the judges first got pissed before passing (pee, and) judgement on the articles. Oh boy, what an evening that was...

Anyway, the lateness of the results lie with the laziness of one particular admin (ahem) who simply could not be bothered to judge this thing... To make it up to you, he invites all entrants round his house for a Pickle Party on the 31st July. Be there or be a shape with four sides of equal length.


Blahdy blah....

  • Your pickle cannot have been in existence before 13:32, 31 Arche 2009 (UTC)
  • You have until the 13th of Aym to come up with the bestest god damn article you could ever write. On that date the entries page will be locked out and the long arduous lubing before the judging tea party will begin. Use the template {{Pickle}} to mark the article so it is not edited by someone else. Anyone caught editing a pickle article that isn't theirs will be fed our in-house giant amoeba that is Mr Metal FLower.
  • Only you may contribute to the article.
  • You may only submit one article. Editors are permitted to make whatever changes they like, including the article itself, providing it is done before the deadline.
  • You may cross out your article for whatever reason, and replace it with a new one before the final deadline.
  • Create your page in your userspace. For example: User:Randomdude/My Dumb Article.
  • The Judges decision is final, bribes are accepted in £15 denominations.


In order of date entered. Author comments in italics.

The Illogic Pickle Contests

Pickle 1.1 (Jum 07)  •  Pickle 1.2 (Nov 07)
Pickle 2.1 (Arc 08)  •  Pickle 2.2 (Jum 08)
Pickle 3.1 (Aym 2009)
Pickle 4.1 (Jum 2011)