Garbage Water
Composed mostly of garbage, water, and a little love, garbage water is a widely available substance widely attributed to key advances in medicine and technology, such as the Cancer Curing Used Tissue, and the inadverted creation of Oscar the Grouch. It was discovered in the late 1880's by William Gladstone, who noted the juices leaking from the ceiling under his privvy were beginning to corrode his shoe. Though it's full potential wasn't discovered until the early 1940s Gladstone found it effective as an acidic toxin he could spray poor people with. Since then the use of garbage water has steadily increased, moving away from peasant melting into a wide range of industries, including television. Sources of garbage water were once widespread and easy to access, but exploitation of sites has led to a sharp decline in underground supplies, many experts predicting we could run out of the stuff as earlier as 2030.
Chemical Composition[edit | edit source]
Unlike water (H20), and garbage (R3UbBIsHh), Garbage Water does not have a strong hydrogenated base, and is composed of many unrelated elements, completely new to science. As seen on the left. Yep. On the left. Geez, that image mucks up the spacing. And now I have to write this poxy section to fill it out, make it look more intentional, as if I intended that car crash to be in the article. I'm nowhere near covering that white expanse, if this thing had more versatile image placement I could have filled the gap with an image, but alas it wasn't to be. It's a bit too narrow for a template though, or at least one I can be bothered to find. You know what, this'll do. Garbage water. Yeah. Ahem.
In Politics[edit | edit source]
Garbage Water was embroiled in the recent expenses scandal, with as many as 0.4 MPs using taxpayers money to buy the stuff. The MPs in questuion refute this claim, stipulating that drinking it helps them win elections, and as such is a justified expenditure. Bobble hats have refused to comment for fear of coming to life.
In Transport[edit | edit source]
Without garbage water the highly specialised dump trucks used to transport our rubbish and waste items would simply die out. These creatures are highly dependant on the nourishing fluid, so much so that some of them "almost like it". You can click here to donate money towards saving the dump truck. So that it may continue picking up our rubbish, and mowing down unwary old people long into the future.
In Entertainment[edit | edit source]
Gabage water has had a huge/tiny impact on entertainment, dependant on whether or not you found this article entertaining.
In Popular Culture[edit | edit source]
Meh. Ish I guess.
In Food[edit | edit source]
Consumption of garbage water, in any present given form is widely discouraged; Yummologists deeming it nasty, and questioning why anyone would want to eat in the first place.
Other Varieties[edit | edit source]
Garbage water isn't specific to any one country, being present to some degree in all nations, barring Iceland, as to avoid Kerry Katona. Each separate country has it's own name for Garbage Water, ranging from Trash Drink (Vatican City) to Steve (Tajekistan). Here are just a few of them: