Mega PP god

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Beginning:

In the beginning, there was nothing but darkness...

Upon seeing darkness, The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God spoke "Let there be Light"

And so there was Light, omitting darkness and shining across the empty...

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God nutted out Heaven and Earth

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God created two angles in his form out of shining diamonds

The first angel was named Keanu Reeves who The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God used all of his power to make Breathtaking, and the Second angel was Lucifer who was fashioned out of Mud since all the Minecraft diamonds were used on pickaxes and Keanu.

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God tasked Keanu Reeves with overseeing Earth, and with Lucifer the production of Green Lantern.

Lucifer envied at Keanu's glory and swore to defeat Keanu and retrieve what belonged righteously to him

Seeing this immodesty, The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God created Hell and banished Lucifer to be the Supreme leader and Admiral General of Hell.

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God brought forth life so Lucifer can have some friends.

And so, Life was born on Earth.

The graciousness of The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God:

Unlike other Gods, The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God allowed for life to evolve from a few weird molecules, and soon by millions of years became what is known to us as Dinosaurs.

These dinosaurs were given the simple command to follow the basic commandments, however a Mamenchisaurus broke the most sacred rule and uttered the two Sacred Words.

Upon doing so, The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God eradicated all the dinosaurs.

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God regretted his decision and decided to never cause a fifth mass life extinction event ever again.

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God saw that some creatures had survived the ordeal, and decided to give them extra XP so they can level up faster.

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God then left his work to watch The Office.

The upbringing of Humanity:

Slowly these creatures adapted to their surrounding, forming many new species and covering the Earth in life once again.

Soon some of these creatures formed Monkey, who soon evolved into Humans.

The humans conquered the lands, they used their intelligence and numbers to rule the world.

Upon conquering the plant, humanity grew shallow.

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God came to visit thy nut's creation. Upon seeing what humanity had become, he grew angry.

He advised Noah, a devout believer who had never broken the commandments against the flood that was to come. Noah built an Ark under The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God's commands, taking over forty years. The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God then told Noah it was just a prank, seeing this Noah decided to destroy what he had once worshipped and sought of Lucifer. Lucifer gave Noah the blueprints to the DeLorean Time machine. Noah made the machine in a day and went back to the past where he met Abel, whom he accidentally run over with he car while trying to parallel park. Upon doing so, Noah flickered away from existence into nothingness.

After a few thousand years, The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God visted again and saw that Humanity was still "unpleasant". He found Mary whom he impregnated using in-vivo fertilization. Mary excited at her pregnancy exclaimed the news to her neighbours and Joseph. Soon Three Kings came and gave the new born baby a name: Resus, since Jesus was the Neighbours lamb's name. Upon finding out about Resus, the King of Wakanda, and the King of Jerusalem sent out The Nicholas Cage to execute Resus.

Resus was soon caught on his 30th Birthday and was put to death by the Brazen bull. The exucutioner tied Resus and began burning him alive. The exectutioner who was known to the Jerusalem community as Dave exclaimed "Look at he who dares oppose the King. Any of those who dare plot against the King will find themselves at such a fate". Upon hearing this, Resus used the Two Sacred Words.

A second later the executioner was found burnt to death inside the giant bull, and Resus was nowhere to be found, however Resus had written a Holy message inside the bull stating that the King's time as King is coming to an End.

The Rebellion:

Resus soon travelled his way to Damascus, where he gathered angry taxpayers, slaves and Jesus Christ's rarely mentioned nephew Anous.

Together they formed the rebellion and fought against the King.

After years of warfare, the Kind decided to send the whole army against Resus.

Upon hearing so, Resus and his comrades fled towards the Red Sea.

The army has surrounded Resus's comrades and so Resus knew he had to produce a miracle to save them all.

So Resus asked The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God for help.

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God dropped down AR 15's which the comrades used to take out half of the army, but their ammunition soon ran out and Resus had to split the ocean in half to escape.

Halfway to end of the ocean, Resus decided to turn and ended up reaching what is now known as America. He and his comrades made camp in the new land. While the comrades were setting up camp, Resus went to a big mountain shaped like a pp, where The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God spoke to him.

The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God gave Resus the Four-Hundred and Twenty Commandments inscribed into stone tablets that tasted funny.

1. All PP's are born equal

2. All PP's deserve to exist

3. The two sacred words must never be uttered to defend against defilers

4. Never mention the two sacred words

5. Never question the two sacred words

6. Fear the two sacred words

7. Don't ask about the other commandments, they are still in beta-testing

Resus took the tablets back to the camp to find his Comrades surrounding a table fashioned out of local trees. Resus looked at the slaves and told them, they were free to go. Resus looked at the taxpayers and told them, they were free to go, they no longer need to pay taxes. Resus then told Anous to go back home because it was past his dinner time.

On the next day, Resus woke up to cries of worry and fear. Resus went out of his tent to investigate and came face to face with the Nicholas Cage.

Resus found himself wrapped in chains, as the Nicholas Cage dragged Resus to his bike. Resus cut the chains with his mini-chainsaw which he had in his back pocket and ran into the trees to flee from the hunter.

While running through the trees, Resus found a temple belonging to a strange, ancient and powerful deity. Upon entering the temple, Resus was met with a breath-taking man on a motorbike. Resus unable to believe his eyes, begged for the angels help, to which he angel have Resus a red button. Upon pressing the red button Nicholas Cage retreated back to Jerusalem for the time being since that was the buttons power.

Thanking the majestic angel, Resus left the temple and immediately got no-scoped by Lucifer who had possessed Stephen Hawking's body.

Resus ascended into heaven, then got kicked out because he got no-scoped by a noob.

Resus descended to hell where he spend three days.

Resus ascended into heaven, only to be send back to Earth after throwing a watermelon into Earth's orbit.

Resus then went back to Jerusalem under cover, with a fake passport and drivers licence. Resus then joined the twelve apostles and ratted out his gay step-brother Jesus just for the memes.

Resus soon quit his job of being The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God's son after getting bored and went jihad on the King of Jerusalem.

Upon failing to do so, he confronted the Russian mafia to attempt them to do his bidding but failed.

In all his failures, he brought up a new plan of a world where no one suffers.

So he began plotting to revive the Ten Tails and place the world under Infinite Tsukuyomi

He failed at that and ended up sticking with his original plan of Communism.

He soon travelled to Russia and disappeared,

Many say he looked like Stalin but this cannot be confirmed, but recent research had found he had a Roblox account under the name of "xx_Mega_PP_god_son_king_of_jews69_xx" which got banned after trying to illegally acquire Robux.

The messiah:

After thousands and thousands of years, The Ultra Great All-seeing Mega PP God declared a great new catastrophe (which he could easily stop) was approaching to an orangutan. God had just put on his contact lenses so it was a bit blurry and so he confused the orangutan for a man - he also said it was kinda far away. The orangutan understood this and knew she had to make a grave decision. So she went back to eating bananas. The orangutan lived to be 950 years old before a flying watermelon killed her, sources from where the watermelon came from vary.

One of many wars to come:

On a cold and sunny day, a young boy went to a popular university, looking for a scholarship. However he was turned down.

He went again with some of the finest work any preschool teacher had ever seen. H egot kicked out and soon worked his way up to WW2.

The great PP god did not like this, so he sent Bejesus, nephew of Resus to terminate the young boy who grew up to be Hitler.

Bejesus sucesfully infiltrated and entered the room where Hitler slept, and walked up to him.

Only being a few centimetres away front one of the worst criminals of all time, Bejesus called upon the power of the two Sacred Words and fused the power into his closed fist.

Bejeses yelled as he thrust his now open palm into the front of Hitler's head, who immediately turned around and screamed "Jesus it's Bejesus" thus alering the Guards downstairs.

Bejesus realizing his mistake aimed his other fist at Hitler's face and opened it.

With that instant, the whole of the building was covered in a rainbow light.

When the light faded, nothing remained but the corpses of all those who were inside the building.

Bejesus, having successfully completed his mission went to Siberia to train for another war which was prophesised to begin shortly after.

The great Siberian Duck:

After spending 10 years training in the harsh winters of Siberia, Bejesus had grown a "big ass" beard as quoted by a local fisherman and had taken the name Elijah. However during his years of training in exile, a new threat appeared.

The threat was known to the Siberian's as Reggie man, who revolted against the sacred texts and teachings of the Mega PP god. Elijah knew he did not have enough strength to face Reggie and headed out of Serbia in search of fearsome warriors capable of assisting him in taking out Reggie man.

He first travelled to New Zealand where he met a weird Rock and recruited it.

He travelled to Canada and found a nun, who he converted and convinced to fight for him.

He reached Jerusalem and met with his old step brother who had gone into hiding, calling out Jesus for one last mission.

He had formed the the Siberian ducks an organisation dedicated to protection of the Mega PP god - do not associate with the future organisation

Upon reaching back in Serbia, the Reggie army controlled by Reggie man captured and took them to Reggie man's castle.

It was discovered that Jesus had backstabbed Elijah after Elijah's uncle's betrayal to get back at Rhesus.

Jesus was reporting all the events as they travelled across the world, which greatly angered Elijah.

Elijah could do nothing as he was restrained and was to be executed by hanging.

The Siberian ducks watched as their leader was hanged, and knew they were going to be hanged.

Then an explosion occurred outside, all of the soldiers and Jesus stormed outside, leaving the prisoners alone.

The Rock magically transformed into a ripoff Dwayne Johnson by removing his disguise, ripping off the ropes restraining him.

The Rock untied the nun and prepared to face of the army outside.

Nothing happened for 5 minutes, then something broke the door down.

The Rock and the nun watched as Rhesus walked through the door along with Megan Rain.

They grabbed the swords and donned the armour, ready to take on the reinforcements who were to arrive shortly.

Seven tanks, 200 swordsmen and 100 archers readied for the onslaught about to come.

Rhesus sent the three back to Earth Prime 2 through a portal where everything was "nice" according to Snoop Dog.

Rhesus decided to destroy Reggie man in revenge for his nephew.

The fighting lasted 12 days because Rhesus spent his time slowly beating the entire army and figuring out how to penetrate the tanks with a sword.

He travelled to an apartment in the capital of Siberia where Reggie man hid.

He ran up the stairs taking out all the bodyguards and broke down each door in search of Reggie.

He reached door 696 which was the last door to break down.

He grabbed the FN P90 and shredded everything in the room, giving the room a red paintjob.

After reaching back to his pimped up camel, he asked the Mega PP god to cause a massive explosion to look cool.

And so it was done, Rhesus rode his camel away as the explosion destroyed the entire apartment.

Fear Mega PP GOD for Mega PP GOD watches over you

Antebellum cthulhu.jpg

André BretonBONJOOK, The Banana GodCheeriosCthulhuFlying Spaghetti MonsterGodGod 2.0G-dGoshGrim ReaperGrim SweeperJoccu-ThanMega PP godMonkey GodMr BlobbyMr. Peepers, the Duck Hunt dogPrincess StargloQuetzalcoatlRococo BasiliskSpace SatanThe God of Fried Chicken DrippingsWalterXenu

Antebellum cthulhu.jpg