Metal Plus Water
DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS A FOUL SUBSTANCE, AND IT KILLS. It has brought thousands of people to their deaths. It is found in some quantities... in... (gasp) THE AIR?!?!!?
Well... it seems you will have to be careful what you breathe in, lest you ingest deadly DHMO!
And its formula is... Two hydrogen, one oxygen. So it's H2O.
Oh wait... H2O is... water. This is all a joke. Oh dear. I'm going out for some cake.
Metal and Water[edit | edit source]
Producer Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler for Dethklok, a deth metal band of some fame and accomplishments, commissioned scientists to develop a new, more analog technology for recording sound. After a recording session, the band listened to playbacks and concluded that it sounded too digital. Although all 5 members were temporarily deaf and very drunk, they insisted on pursuing another technology to get an analog sound.
“H.E.A.R.D., which stands for Hydro-Electric Audio Recordinational Device, is a highly powerful recording system developed by scientists working for Dethklok.”
The scientists developed H.E.A.R.D. for this purpose, and it was used with great success to record an album, the lead singer Nathan Explosion making random sounds and the bass player William "Murderface Murderface" Murderface vomiting. All who heard the playbacks were astounded at the clarity and realism of the sound quality.
The tracks were recorded at the band's studio at Mordhaus, their living quarters, studio, fortress and training facilities for the paramilitary Klokateers. After the tracks were rendered onto pure water, they were canted into containers to be used at a master recording. Being a bunch of besotted imbeciles, band members variously drank, watered plants, topped off a fish tank and made ramen noodles with the master.
It is unclear if the technology was ever used again. The cost in the power required strained Mordhaus's in-house nuclear power plants and coal-fired generators, and caused huge blackouts across several major grids in three states. Unless the Mordhaus internal power systems are significantly upgraded, it is unlikely it will be attempted again.