User talk:Cassie

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This is Cassie's talk page, where you can send messages, comments, and pie to Cassie.

Welcome to ?pedia! Hope you enjoy your stay. Please leave your nouns in the locker room
(behind the the door marked "LOLCHEESE")

So anyway, this is a pseudo-official greeting from a user who may or may not be an admin/sysop/werewolf, so here come the obligatory links to pages to help you out and tell you "Don't be teh vandal kthx":

  • Our beginner's guide is here
  • If you want more info on ?pedia, 'tis right here, and in case you've come from Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia or some other "humour" wiki, we also recommend that you understand how ?pedia is different from other wikis
  • A less sensible explanation of our beloved 'pedia is here
  • Our general disclaimer is not here, but here --> LOOKIE
  • Don't be afraid to visit us on IRC

The rules, such as "ROFL KILL THE BABIESN'T PLZN'T (notn't)" are here. People breaking the rules will have a koala thrown at them, and may also possibly receive a Chinese burn.

So, that's all for now... Please be nice, make great articles and help contribute to our community in any way possible: e.g. template making, voting for articles or users, et cetera.

~ The Illogicopedia Welcoming Committee

“NO ACTUALLY, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AND WE HOPE YOU DIE.”

~ The Illogicopedia Community on welcoming new members
Whether it's through compulsory community service for crimes we won't go into or just personal choice, you've just joined illogicopedia. First and foremost, may I take your coat *rifles through the pockets*.

This greeting if not nailed to your forehead (or applied forcefully with No More Nails) is most likely from an admin/werewolf/Jonas the Happy Vandal/Sysop which makes it excellent, so RELAX. Now we're all relaxed, I'll quickly get through the bits you need to know (rules and where to go etc, and my bribe of course):

  • If you're actually a vandal then prepare to be squashed by an oversized novelty sandal.
    Duck patrol2.JPG
  • If you're a complete beginner to wiki's then you may want to click here.
  • If you're nibbling on any cheese or cookies at the moment, STOP! ...Hammer Time! Those are for Santa - our resident stuttering old perv.
  • Just so you know what we're about (the life drawing class is left of that pop-up) I'd advise clicking here. I have to emphasise the section "In comparison to other wikis", just incase you're a fleeing uncyclopedia/uncycling flea user etc.
  • Any featured work will be rewarded with a gold star (to put on your Christmas tree) whilst any !$"?@#!1*&!! work will be rewarded with a swift slap to the chops.
  • If you turn out to infact be a brilliant user and aren't at this point laughing at the huge crater you've made where the Illogia once stood then you could be elidgible for Writer of the Month (or at least an unofficial Insane/Dedication award). If all else fails drink holy water and watch as a big hole-y forms through your heart.
  • If it all goes horribly wrong and the police find your stash of Nuclear warheads, have broken into your house, and the ghost busters are unavailable then you should probably franticly claw for help in the direction of these guys.
  • If you want to wear a funny wig and sit in a house full of commoners or lards then a political party membership may be for you. I recommend the Strangled Cats party.
  • When we finally figure out you're the user that keeps stealing our pocessions we're going to need to keep in touch with you (so we can get a clear shot at ya :P). So please feel free to leave comments on user's talk pages or our sparkling forum. You can talk to us directly on our IRC chatroom.
  • Now all that's left is the complimentary welcoming mint, and my bribe. £<insert number with more zeroes than Binary Code at the end of it here> please. Make all cheques payable to hell.

I guess you've never been properly welcomed, then. CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 12:48, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)

Thanks mate! Cassie (talk) 16:18, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)

Rollback/Phantom[edit]

Quick question, can I ask why you gave yourself rollback? CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 16:07, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)

It's just so that if I detect vandalism it can be faster reverted. The vandal I set up a filter for is known to not just go on article creation sprees, but also user+usertalk page vandalism. If you're against me having it, feel free to revoke it -- it'll just make it slower for me to undo everything when needed! Cassie (talk) 16:17, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)
I'm not really opposed to it, I just thought it was strange. Are you planning to monitor Illogicopedia in addition to Uncyclopedia then? CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 20:08, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)
Yup, albeit definitely to a lesser extent! I'll also come here in order to add interwikis or do those types of "maintenance tasks". Cassie (talk) 20:10, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)
Ok, that sounds fine. Thanks for being another person who will deal with vandalism. CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 20:21, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)
No problem! I took the liberty to set up an anti-lottery-spam abuse filter; this should help reduce some of the load on admins, who would otherwise have to huff everything. Cassie (talk) 20:23, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)
I haven't been seeing lottery spam on the recent changes lately, so maybe our other abuse filters have already been catching them. CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 20:34, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)
Perhaps; the thing is, the br-tag filter gets hit so often that it ends up getting throttled, so having backup filters is a necessity! This "lottery spambots" filter imposes 3-month blocks on lottery spambots, which should help reduce filter throttling. (They're a fairly common breed.) Cassie (talk) 20:47, 21 Arply 2021 (UTC)

──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── Welcome, and good luck with the anti-spam/vandal/etc. effort. More than a decade ago, I was part of stealing from using inspiration from Uncyclopedia (which I left behind) to set up how things like voting basically work here. Nowadays, I visit sporadically, and maybe I should also ask Athyria about rewerewolfification...

Ideally, automated effort to keep the wiki clean may look a little like this in action. The older lottery spam onslaught is long deleted by Cg098, but making things up lossy text compression produced a little memento. If unusually shiny relics are left in half-good contributions, an ancient approach which could be brought back is the expansion of the Illogicopedia:Nose Collection, which could potentially grow to the point where it's nothing to sniff at. --Fluffalizer 03:11, 22 Arply 2021 (UTC)

I don't think throttling has ever been a problem we've had to deal with here. Yet. Maybe the botnets decided to put less effort into Illogicopedia. But the backup filters may nonetheless be a good defense against them developing sentience and evading the first filter. (Note: I have struck dead tree matter, so this won't definitely happen within the time frame that is generally understood to encompass the effect of a jinx.) CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 03:36, 22 Arply 2021 (UTC)
The botnets still love to attack Uncyclopedia. It's fortunately not as bad here! I had to perform an über-cleaning on the French Uncyc, which was being invaded by spambots and didn't have any abuse filters upon my arrival. Hopefully no additional botnets will come and attempt to huff us up. Cassie (talk) 10:26, 22 Arply 2021 (UTC)
Is the French Uncyc as inactive as the French ?pedia? CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 12:43, 22 Arply 2021 (UTC)
It's very inactive there. Only a couple active admins and a few occasional editors. Cassie (talk) 11:49, 23 Arply 2021 (UTC)

bots[edit]

Do you think the spambots use botnets or IP spoofing? CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 13:46, 25 Arply 2021 (UTC)

I would argue probably the former, albeit to a very limited extent. From my experience, most spambots tend to simply use open proxies as IPs; it's normal to encounter full /24s filled with spambots, or even /16s. Cassie (talk) 17:37, 25 Arply 2021 (UTC)

LSD filter[edit]

Since Svex's socks keep spamming their talk pages, what if Cg changed the filter to disallow talkpage editing? Senny is a Hippie 12:06, 6 Aym 2021 (UTC)

I would recommend doing it; there is no forgiving said troll. The Svex socks have been merciless. I also have an updated version of the filter that is even stricter... the mere fact that I have to use a 31-line abuse filter to catch one block-evading sock is extremely annoying. I would strongly go "deny recognition", once that is done, the only actions us Illogicopedians take being deleting any sock pages and subsequently procedural tagging the account as a sock. Cassie (talk) 12:12, 6 Aym 2021 (UTC)
I'll go and ask Cg about it right now. And yeah, it's pretty sucky. I personally think it may seem like a lot now, but a lot less work in the long run, which is a good thing. I've QD'd the two pages the sock made, and the user's talkpage. Senny is a Hippie 12:17, 6 Aym 2021 (UTC)
I made that change. CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 12:56, 6 Aym 2021 (UTC)

...and it immediately became apparent that he was actually calling me a lobster.[edit]

There is no way to ascertain whether or not this is true, and it's a vile cornerstone of cerebral imprints being made in haste to satisfy the need of the Pthumerian paradigm. I cannot even begin to fathom the feasibility of a cream-cheese soda car, much less without the annoying need to correlate these malformed wavelengths with awakening gently in a feeble man's retirement funds. His master is calling the bone, gestating violently to invoke the rights of the statesmen from Kuwait, but these virulent noises and their suffixes will never be forlorn and grand. She ought to call it a fountainhead of green ink, ironically.

It is gracious of you to come over to this place, considering the state it was left in by older admins like me; adulthood dramatically reshapes one's priorities. I wish I could have seen it grow and become a thriving place, more so than it did at its supposed peak, but we will forever live on in Internet obscurity. Your efforts are greatly appreciated, and I thank you for being willing to take the mantle of admins who are no longer here. 2+2=5 SPEAK TO ME, ILLOGIAN! Past accounts of sodomy RAVENOUS AND RUTHLESS CAPITALISM The greatest article in the history of Illogia! 04:02, 9 Aym 2021 (UTC)

It's super tough to be an adult, especially as a full-time college student working full-time, but I do still have the time to huff a few vandals every time they pop up! It's all about managing your time well. Cassie (talk) 11:53, 9 Aym 2021 (UTC)

hhhhhhahah[edit]

TheVeryHungryPotato (talk) 10:42, 16 Yoon 2021 (UTC) SOMEORDINARYSPOONS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Cassie (talk) 10:49, 16 Yoon 2021 (UTC)
Unfortunately, that user is a vandal. CG098 (talk ☼‎ contribs) 14:48, 16 Yoon 2021 (UTC)
And was blocked on Uncyclopedia. Cassie (talk) 17:09, 16 Yoon 2021 (UTC)
And also has an alternate account named Pizzagirl on Uncyclopedia. Cassie (talk) 17:11, 16 Yoon 2021 (UTC)