Ah, yes, more nonsense/Archive One
What if the reason everyone dies is because they breathe in oxygen, which is a slow-acting poison? Like [increasing no. of years] slow-acting. So, fjink.
- await... aghast. Aplomb aside, assuaged Assyrians assaulted assholes assigned astringents.
WE IS ACTIVE AGAIN!
MAY 2 2017 begins the twentieth year of the Forces of Good, since evil was defeated... we think?
No, this is about Harry Potter.
No, Albus, he's just teasing you. You know he's like that.
IT'S ALL WRONG.
Well... I feel very weird. I used to use Recent changes a lot...
Seeing a whole bunch of [Ghost]... it feels scary. For real.
A vote for Turd Sandwich is a vote for a better, more progressive Merka.Russia recently outlawed the Jehovah's Witnesses, so now free range chickens can toss cabers again. It's been over 100 years, dating before the Bolshevik revolution, since Russia has fielded a caber team in the Olympics. Putin himself formed a committee to assemble a world class team, hiring Canadian Kevin Fast, world's record holder at 14 tosses in three minutes, as head coach. An arm of this committee, comprised of former KGB operatives, will research cheating methods including but not limited to steroids and other chemical enhancement, corking or leading cabers and sabotaging opponents. It's whispered that Alistair Crowely will be consulted using psychic mediums and a Ouija board. It may be possible to augment the team's abilities using the Dark Arts.
Like definetly does not like melon
MAKE SNOWCLONES GREAT AGAIN!
I mean, that phrase is used for ANYTHING, with 'America' replaced by something better.
Also, a userbox for YouTube comments: 'This user is offensive and finds this snowclone'.
- Yes!
| ☃ | This user is offensive and finds this snowclone. |
Yes
No
Perhaps, I'm mad
I've got 1, 2, 3, 4, 601... senses working overtime. Including my ability to remember numbers.
Some spoiled kid quotes:
My A380 broke down, so I had to walk to the shops! It made me feel like a poor person!
You mean to tell me, there are people who don't have caviar for breakfast? Well, we must do something. How about I take their food and make them pay tax for their honourable contribution to society?
Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it's random, but not flashgor. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Is contraception a weapon for people who don't yet exist?
Good one, XY. lolTP
C 11:53, 18 Arply 2017 (UTC)
This template is supposed to change slowly, slow, immediately and now, to be whatever anyone passing by wants it to be at the moment. (Barring obscenities and fish head curry, of course).
- Smelly gromphlemites barking orders, shooting anarchists, the intergalactic government giving Jerry antidepressants, Rick belch-mumbling through a drunken haze... this clown car needs a flame thrower.
Today is Personal Space Day. We want to make sure the Hillsborough disaster never happens again.
Deathrock. How do you shove a telepath off a cliff?
Invaded by dank meme overlords, victimized by teachers, and the cats keep falling because they can't obey the greenlight policies? Dead.
You know, it's like a snowclone, to start with those two sentences. Tinfoil of Radio, Witherless, Victimized by the green teachers, and invaded by a castle of extremely breakable fish dish.
CHRISTIAN DEATH METAL!!!!!! NAR NUH NAR NUH NAR GOD!! NAR NUH NAR JESUS!!!!!! KABOOOOOOOOOM!!!! SKREEEEEEEEE!!!! BEEBLY PRAISE THE LORD DEEBLY BEEBLY DEEBLY DOOBLY DIBBLY DOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!
To dziecko nie jest moje. To dziecko jest z ciemności. Nosiłem przekleństwo ludzkości. Mogę prosić o miłosierdzie, czego nie dostanę. Dusza moja będzie pochłonięta, wyrzucona, a potem znów pochłonięta. Na zawsze. Żart, ale nikt nie śmieje się. Moja krew będzie. Śmierć nie jest końcem. Jestem w piekle. To jest piekło. kurwa mać.
...what the fuck kinda easter egg is this?!!?
Now I know why Polandball wants into space. But be careful it doesn't reverse gravity, else it becomes Indonesiaball. And that's terrible.
0291876256718376278732872819298nsebgrb
eyee3384763763736774653642567188273662
Solid dogs weasel. {{{1}}} I tried, but it didn't work. I'm sorry. I guess I'll go back to not doing homework.
- Well, at least you tried, buddy.
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- Reptiles are still in the White House, Congress and the Judiciary, despite the valiant efforts of we few of the Space Alien Resistance. After the death of Roosevelt, Truman, who was actually a reptilian space alien doppleganger, seized the presidency for their incursion. By 1962 the controlled or were the majority in Congress and the Supreme Court.
This is an advertisement for Category:Illogic-Deficient. Some of the articles on here aren't illogical enough and are at risk of deletion. Help find and cure these articles now. Call 1-555-ILL-OGIC now to get more information on how you can contribute to the survival of these unfortunate articles. You get the idea, just... help us out here. Personally, I'd rather you first find articles that aren't illogical enough. Once you've found one, then put the template this text links to on the page. The page'll automatically be added to the previously-mentioned category. Once we've got everyone rounded up, we'll get to editing everything. Maybe we'll even make a template that notifies readers that the article used to be illogic-deficient. Wouldn't that be nice?
- There once was a funnel in the Chunnel Tunnel cu... never mind all that! Advances in decision engine design have allowed us to pass on to you the greatest thing ever! I mean, you won't believe it!
あなたは短期記憶喪失に苦しんでいますか？ 覚えていない。
“Tamanegi flava, wish I was a playa, I'm a taxpayer, need a good lawyer.”
In pursuit of the woman in the feathered hat, the gumbo fixes to spill and slop. Gnarled, gnurled gnobs glisten in the violet-silver moonlight. Husks of fetid men-children determine to fix. Derailment seems imminent, ghosts of shards, shreds of shambles shirk shadows, forsaking the forsook as they were forsaken, forsooth... sawtooth, snaggle-toothed symbols of cymbals spatter squeaky sibilances, sloughing slain snatterings shaking shocked shmool.
“Respect mah authorotah!”
User, the love I bear thee can afford no better term that this: thou art... REJECTED!
It took me a week to get the teep off my house after the teeps teeped it. It wouldn't have taken so long if they hadn't kept teep-kicking me. I hate teeps. They won't let me have any privacy, and they can't even be bothered to get themselves proper houses. Well I say, this certainly isn't showing up on the front page, is it now?
“The kind of person who internalizes mice typically turns out to be a building.”
“I'm a leaky, disgusting abomination."”
“If should'ves were could'ves, and my aunts had tits, my uncle would have... ugh, I hate fucking jail!”
“They're stupid as the fuck giraffes in a dumdum salad.”
“Logic and reason are deceptive. They can lead a person to lose his soul.”
“ Friends are just enemies who don't have the guts to kill you”
The Wexicans stole my job at WcDonald's. I wish Dlanod Pmurt would deport them to Wexico and make Wengland pay for it.
Error Windows has detected this site to be illogical. Do you wish to proceed and go mad, or go back and keep your sanity?
[Yes/Y] [No/N]
Writing is like a blackbird. Just when you think it's about to burst into a musical rhapsody with the voice of a song sparrow, you realize the bird is flying backwards.
- Mad jibber contains the transagonal polypeptide property since it can be added. By applying the Rule of Demons, we can postulate the existence of dank matter. Therefore, Hershey's Dark Chocolate Syrup will sufficiently mask the taste.
It was the year with only one featured article. ₣ừṅṅỿ! OM TELOLET OM - the last meme of 2016?!
Goodbye, cruel world. America is haunted.
The Mayans were four years off. Really?
No, Winthorpe. Not really.
I'm sorry, but I don't speak English.
Why?
I must request your amnesty for what I am about to express towards you,
the reader,
who is currently in my direction,
but,
I must regret to express towards you,
that,
I am currently unable to communicate to other sentient lifeforms due to the reason that the English language was not the first of the languages that I have learned to communicate in my infancy.
Also Chinese can't be the language of the future because I can't write in, speak, read or understand Chinese, but thank you.
THIS IS NOT FILLER AT ALL!!
What do you mean they said this too many times?!
Roll film!
PRE-PRODUCTION
Idea comer-upper John Doe
Writer John Doe
Scripter John Doe
Director John Doe
Artist John Doe
Songwriter John Doe
CAST AND CREW
Cameraman John Doe
Editor John Doe
ACTORS
Starring John Doe
John Doe John Doe
AUTHORSHIP
Writer John Doe
Illustrator John Doe
Publisher John Doe
Editor John Doe
The Falkland Islands are the place to be, on a Saturday night. The Argentinians are partying, without realising that the British are about to attack. Any second now, Argentina will be ours! Then, we'll always beat them at football.
I still don't know what Miekia actually means. It just sounded good. (Like most of things weasels write).
DreamWorks? More like MemeWorks. (Do we have an entry about Shrek?)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA is the greatest thing ever invented. Your life could also change if you bought some fresh, handmade AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
20 years of Space Jam. Well, on the plus side, that also means 20 years of Infinite Jest.
In the Purple Isles of Xander it's common to fill litter boxes with live squids, rather than the clay litter which is popular in some other cultures. Oddly, it's also said that cats in Xander are harder to litter-train than cats elsewhere, and some never learn to use a litter box. Several ongoing studies have been designed to determine what might have caused the difference between Xander cats and other cats. Nuclear mutation? Well, maybe.
1066 was an inside job.
Remember when your ex asked you, "What kind of pervert are you, anyway"?
Well, now you can find out! Take our online quiz, and next time somebody asks you that, you'll be prepared with a real answer!
Chimbot: Hello!
User: Am I dreaming?
Chimbot: You know it.
User: Can I wake up now?
Chimbot: Have you heard of Jesse Whittaker?
User: Can I wake up now?
Chimbot: Correction, why have you been programmed?
User: Can I wake up now?
Chimbot: Hmm, I don't think I will. You should take some grammar classes.
User: May I wake up now?
Chimbot: We will find you acting on your best behavior.
User: Please may I wake up now?
Chimbot: No, you're doing it wrong. In word association I say a word and then you say a word you associate with my word and it goes back and forth.
User: This.
Chimbot: Are you saying that people just do whatever I am doing because if I can do it they can too?
User: CAN I WAKE UP NOW?
Chimbot: Thats exactly what I was thinking. The truth is you're always there... Period.
User: I'm done.
Like some free chocolate? Sorry, not here, but you can get free Election 2016 Coverage! Counting down straight!
FUNOFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Free spatial offer! Click here to eat it before the toilet sucks!
- I'm sorry. But your lightbulbs were so delicious. I just couldn't helicopter myself. The Illuminati is too purple to exist on the moon!
Tip: Make sure to swim all your non-autistic poops by eating them with five triangles.
How many mice would a mousedog mouse if a mousedog could mouse mice?
- HI SORRY!!
Hey -- did you miss it? Today is National Take Your Cats to Work Day! So if you didn't, you should go home right now, load your kitty cats into the car, and bring them to the office!
Don't delay! Act now! You're an all star! Wait, wrong thing. Wrong song.
Surturbrand? Fossils? Green anthracite coal?
I don't know, I'm just a ratty mole.
Doorbell rang. It's Gail Snurdlefoot and her cousin, Gail Fnurdlesnoot. "Uh ... hello?" I say. "Didn't expect you until the week after next." "Hey, plans change!" she sez. So, I guess the Gails of November came early.
He'll be coming round the Holy Mountain after he comes from an electric cloud directly sent from heaven in a forst class parcel with a dickbutt bow on top of his old smoky spaghetti wiring all covered with Robert Moog's internal organs, being played by the top organist with the top kek, Antipope "Frankfurter" Francis. There is no vacancy in the papacy, there is a spoon and a God and a Spoon God and a grrrreat slashing of the soul by the paper cardboard cartoon whacky murdering tiger, tastes like good sugar, saw oscillator synaesthesia in a rewired mind, I can hear the robots and the beep boop beep boop beep and the cloud ascended again it's all gone. Oh darn, I missed it.
No sleep tonight. The zombie under the bed will not settle down -- "Rrrrr! Rrrrrrr!" Thump! Thud! (bed shakes) I think its bowl is almost empty, and I forgot again to buy brains when I was at Stop&Shop yesterday.
I sat proudly obese in my underwear, belly spilling this way and that, applying for a mortgage. Parallel universes converged that day, as reptilian alien politicians came out and demanded their own bathrooms, so as to avoid potential genital contact with transgender amphibious aliens,who want to eat their children. Presumably in bathrooms. Something about moisture.
“The true measure of a man is a woman.”
Jacque Cousteau praises Eat, Pray, Gain Weight And Get Saved as "a delightful read that propels one's imagination into a world of eggs, restraining orders, light armored vehicles and weasels. Never before have I come away from a book with gout!"
the towel -- the towel -- THE TOWEL! THE LAUNDRY!!! no no nonono! GET IT AWAY FROM ME! HEEELP!
Q: What goes, "Garbage in garbage in garbage in garbage in garbage in garbage in garbage in. Garbage OUT!"?
A: A trash compactor. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh, well, it sounded kindof 'haha' before I wrote it down.
Tuesday the NASA humpback whale will begin its swim to the Moon, thus answering once and for all the question of whether a whale can swim to the Moon. More the point is whether the whale -- whose name is Blowjie -- can bring the Moon back with her on the return swim. It's a lot of weight to tow, even for a whale.
Impossible horrible day the mice in my hair will not settle down what is their problem the squeaking the squeaking i can't stand it another ....
I will declare war on war, I declare war against myself because logic derp, I don't have a gun but I have gin rummy but that won't do anything I feel pathetic I feel very tired and the long cenotaph ship flails on through the wacky syringe factory I Berned down 2420 AD of our Lard Jesus Crust, Ambienamoebamen.
Three tons, it weighed, at least three flabby, crawling tons. And that doesn't count the slime, which must have added 500 pounds more. They say those things never get that big. Hah. I was so glad to move away from that place. But the worst was the smell -- it took me three weeks to wash it out of my hair.
Alas I cannot put my content below this line, for in truth I am not content, and be I not content, how shall I content myself with regurgitated content placed below the line which demarcates the content of this rather content-free page? And what is worse there is no line save in the fevered imagination of the entity which (or who, respectively) placed the instruction to so do upon this poisoned ground.
Clown facsimile is on record as having done so. But he knows not his true form. Poor buzzard.
Oslo = Also? We have normality. I repeat, we have normality.
I'm not talking coupons and flyers,
We're talking raggedy old tyres.
The really real junk!
The funky junk!
Drop it, don't stop it, send it on its way. Junk mail. I'm sending lotsa junk mail, you'll see. When your mail is full o' junk, you're gonna wanna thank me. I'm the boss around here, and I'll decide when we're back or not.
We're back.
Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! Dooble and Dooble and Dooblie Doo! And Dooblie Doo! Click on my ads! EXTRA SAWUCE!
C'est occupé! C'est occupé!
¡No mires! ¡No mires!
Nie wchodzić, nie wchodzić, zajęte!
Fish are like that – at least the fish that I know. That was the last ball, you know what that means? No, absolutely not, although once I had to catch a one-legged ostrich with a butterfly net. Now that was hard. Oh, I just love aerobics class! I've tried other ways to exercise too, running, swimming, competitive shopping, but this class is the most fun of all! But in school, I was voted most likely to go in the right direction and scored well in my ups and downs, and I'm telling you the escalator is going up! Out of bounds, way out of bounds, so out of bounds it was practically in bounds someplace else. Our point!
"I'm a security monitor. I only notify people if there's a robbery."
*masked men with machine guns start demanding money*
"There's a robbery."
Not all British music is the same thing. Also, stop motion! YOU'RE NOT MY EATER. I'M NOT YOUR FOOD.
Every morning these annoying birds, get up to infest the garden with fnurdles. Are they seriously trying to first-vote Clive Palmer in the cheese squadron 1042? Since 2015, America no longer exists. It's now Not-Mexico.
Starlight, egg white, all up in your face tonight. Give me jajang noodles and I'll leave you alone.
This is where my sense of humo(e)r falls flat.
The Undersecretary of the Assistant to the Press Liaison at the Ladies Room of the Press Club on Weekends and Holidays, Sir Nathan Gargantuan-Menu, 17th Meta-Duke of Largesse, would like the pleasure of your company at his lake house in Georgia, US. Just show up, with friends.
- Crunchy frog? I'm flattered!
Watch out, get down, jump around, hello, goodbye, thank you, come again. I think I kinda like it.
Boogie pudding 1984, I am totalitarian disco llama, you bring me closer to Dog's body of bones, I can't feel my legs as the bloody fleshy wraith approaches the Chuck E. Cheese pizza palace of American death freedom. The unborn chikkin voysez in mai hed, the two cullerz in mai hed... What's that? What was that you tried to say? Learn some spelling.
Chapter 01: Say something smart.
Chapter 02: Phrubub nose the cheese.
Chapter 03: Moving on to Lysandre Labs.
Chapter 04: Mole-ism is mole-ism.
Chapter 05: Only hipsters use Windows 95.
Chapter 06: Someone pooped in my bananas.