The Colbert Report
The Colber(t) Repor(t)is a rubbish fake news show hosted by French pretty boy Stephen Colber(t). It is a host of liberal thought, blasphemy against the one Holy and True God and has a demonic button that gives out bad financial information usually involving bees. It has a French bias because all things, including the host's surname.
This one time I was watching it and my television turned into a thousand million miniature marshmallows. Typically I'd rejoice about such an event, but it just so happened that I was out of hont chonkolate. I proceeded to stab myself in my spleen, but then that hurt so I stopped.